“Who’s ‘Tobias Bern … -strup’?”
“Oh, he’s a Swedish artist. And a synth-pop musician.”
“So you’re, like, really into him? You wanna, like, have his babies?”
“I don’t want to have ANYONE’S babies.”

—Conversation between me and some mop-topped drunk moron at the Tobias Bernstrup show at Wierd Wednesday last night. This was, in fact, the first thing he said to me. The ensuing moments of silence were undoubtedly awkward for him, but triumphant for me.

And a couple of minutes later:
“Do you own your own disco ball?”
[I shook my head.]
“Why not?”
“Because I have no reason to.”
“But if you had your own disco ball, you wouldn’t need to come here!” [with the inflection that this was a positive thing]

Ugh. Just stop.