Top 10 jokes of the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe
(according to the annual Dave Award)
1. Stewart Francis: “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
2. Tim Vine: “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.”
3. Will Marsh: “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”
4. Rob Beckett: “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”
5. Chris Turner: “I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know why.”
6. Tim Vine: “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze.”
7. George Ryegold: “Pornography is often frowned upon, but that’s only because I’m concentrating.”
8. Stewart Francis: “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
9. Lou Sanders: “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad’.”
10. Nish Kumar: “My mum’s so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn’t fancy her chances.”
- Tim Vine: I've got one here, it says: 'My friend Emma has got a crush on Jon. What should she do?' That's from Phil in Northampton
- Jon Richardson: Um..
- Tim Vine: And I think, I've got an answer to that. And I just think you need to, she needs to say hello to him at a gig. 'Cause that's fairly safe, isn't it?
- Jon Richardson: Well I tend not to socialize at gigs. I'm very much a..
- Tim Vine: They'll make you uncomfortable, it'll be great!
- Jon Richardson: I was gonna say I'm a back door guy but that has.. implications. I go in the back door *giggles* and I come out of the back door, straight away afterwards.
- Tim Vine: Yeah
- Jon Richardson: I'm not best to be spoken at. I would say, if you have a crush on me, probably need to just..
- Tim Vine: Forget it.
- Jon Richardson: Get over it. *laughs* 'cause I have a very unique,
- Tim Vine: Move to Swindon.
- Jon Richardson: Well no, don't do that. I would never ask that of anyone.