“I figure it's only fair, considering how I demand constant and illegal updates on your glamorous lifestyle writing by candlelight with foodstuffs hanging on a string from your teeth, that I in turn educate you in the fascinating details of the editorial process. I have been charged with proper care of commas and, should I be feeling particularly daring, I am also given full control of my clandestine lover, the semi-colon. But that appears only to happen Fridays, when everyone gets a little drunk on the weekend and on power, laughing hysterically and flinging punctuation about every which way.”