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one time i called my brother a little bitch on facebook and my aunty emailed my mum telling her to control her children

Toph, Zuko and Katara on a probending team: Testing it out.

  • Zuko: TOPH! LOOK OUT!
  • Toph: What? Where--OW FUCK.
  • Katara: TOPH! you stepped out of the ring AGAIN!
  • Toph: I CAN'T SEE THE FUCKING LINES SUGAR QUEEN.
  • Zuko: (To Katara) Maybe this wasn't the best idea.
  • Katara: What was your first clue?
  • Zuko: Well, for starters, she just got knocked out of the ring.
  • Katara: Yeah, and?
  • Zuko: Into a giant pool of water.
  • Katara: ...yeah, and?
  • Zuko: ...
  • Katara: ...
  • Zuko: ...she can't swim.
  • Katara: ...SHIT! TOPH!
  • Toph: FUCK YOU GUYS I'M BLIND WHY DON'T YOU EVER REMEMBER.
  • [onstage in Hamburg]
  • Gerard: I fucking HATE nu-metal. Fucking haaate it, dude. I fucking hate Korn, I fucking hate Limp Bizkit... I don't give a shit what YOU like, I don't give a SHIT what you like... You're here tonight because you like us, and because we hate nu-metal, that's why we're here.
  • Gerard: [introducing Teenagers] THIS SONG'S ABOUT HATING NU-METAL!
  • [the following night in Dortmund]
  • Gerard: I think I pissed a lot of people off dissing nu-metal last night. You guys can like nu-metal, I’m okay with that. I mean, I still have a problem with it, but you can like it... [chuckles awkwardly]
  • Crowd:
  • Gerard:
  • Crowd:
  • Gerard:
  • Frank: Well, I still have a problem with it.
  • Gerard: YEEEEEEEAAAH!
  • I went to the mall today, and there is a music store in the mall called FYE. While in there I saw a girl pick up The Flood by Of Mice & Men...
  • Girl: OH MY GOD I HATE THIS BAND SO MUCH.
  • Me: *drops all CDs in my hand and gasps for air like a fish and tries not to go over and kill her with my strangely small hands*
  • Girl: *looks at me* Are you ok?
  • Me: PUT THE CD BACK PUT IT BACK NOW JUST JESUS CHRIST IF YOU HATE THE BAND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HOLD THEIR CD HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT JUST NO STOP LEAVE PUT IT BACK AND LEAVE NOW
  • Girl: O_____o
  • Me:
  • Girl:
  • Me: I HOPE SANTA BRINGS YOU NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR EXCEPT FOR A GOOD MUSIC TASTE
  • girl: omg i love louis
  • me: ya but Niall's precious too
  • girl: oh the blonde one? i hate him ew
  • police: so you say she just tripped and broke her face?
  • Therapist: So you wouldn't be friends with anyone who hates Asking Alexandria?
  • Me: no
  • Therapist: what if you guys had everything in common except-
  • Me: no
  • Therapist:
  • Me: no
  • me: *floating around the house like a ghost, hugging my laptop while crying*
  • my mom: can you wash the dish-
  • me: ...
  • my mom: ...
  • me: ...
  • my mom: why are you crying?
  • me: THERE IS NO PLACE FOR MAGIC IN CAMELOT!

Vowels

  • English Professor: Elementary question to ensure that you learned the things you should have learned in grade school: How many vowels are there in the English language?
  • Linguistics Student: Oh! I know this! Depends on your accent, but most commonly argued somewhere from 12-15. But I've also heard the argument that we have as many as 20 vowels!
  • English Professor:
  • Linguistics Student:
  • English Professor:
  • Linguistics Student:
  • English Professor:
  • Linguistics Student: ....Oh whoops. English class.
  • Linguistics Student: a e i o u
  • Linguistics Student: Five.
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