so i called the nearby starbucks to see if they were open because my dad wasn’t sure and wanted me to ask so i asked them in gollum’s voice “HELLO IS PRECIOUS OPEN TODAY?”

and the guy on the other line replied with “YES PRECIOUS IS OPEN TODAY UNTIL 3 MY PRECIOUS YESSSSSSSS”

I FUCKING FLIPPED OUT AND I WAS LAUGHING AND SOBBING

AND THE GUY ON THE OTHER LINE ASKED “IS PRECIOUS OKAY”

  • Guest: where's your daughter?
  • Dad: oh, she's in her room. she won't come out unless you bring food or band members.

Me joking with my mom about marrying Ed Sheeran

  • Me: Well we can't get married yet. I mean he's on tour and would be away for a while
  • Me: Besides he has to write some songs about me first!
  • Mom: Wait hasn't he already written a song about you?
  • Me: What?
  • Mom: Yeah. How does it go?......You Need Me, I Don't Need You?
  • Me:
  • Mom:
  • Me:
  • Mom:
  • Me: I see how it is

so there i was, casually crying over all time low and watching my live videos

when suddenly

image

i notice

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this

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oh my

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fucking god

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“I would be perfectly content with sleeping my life away with you and that's both sad and comforting.”

—“From Him To Me.”

When I’m around people and someone turns on Heat of the Moment by Asia I’m like

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and everybody else is like 

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then to explain myself i’m like

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and everyone else is like yeah sure

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  • Interviewer: What does 'get some' in your new single LWWY mean?
  • Harry: Erm, well. It's up for interpretation....You could get...erm...
  • Liam: Noodles.
  • Harry: Yes, you could get some noodles or..
  • Louis: Sweet loving.
  • Harry: Or you could get some sweet loving.

i called someone from a church phone today and said i was jesus and we had a deep conversation she confessed her sins and everything

  • Friend: What are you going to do when the City of Bones movie comes out and people act like they know more than you?
  • Me: I'm going to burn down the world.
  • Tegan: Sara.. she wrote the chorus. So she's the sexual one, she's the deviant. I was like 'I wanna hold your hand, I wanna get closer. The spark before the dark, the rush before the touch.' and Sara's all like 'I just wanna get physical!' *Hip thrusts*
  • Sara: There better not be a gif about that on Tumblr!
  • Tegan: I don't have the internet anyway... so-
  • Sara: When the world ends, there will be that gif and cockroaches.
  • Tegan: Alright, so... Sara's already been a bitch.
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