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Mom says I’m not stressed and I should get my ass off the computer, says the one who doesn’t do shit other than sit home and watch soap operas and doesn’t pay her overdue bills. I pay your fucking bills you fucking bitch. I’m already acting like an adult, paying bills, making sure the kids grades are doing fine, meanwhile you’re doing bat shit. I want to punch you so bad.
I fucking love my parents.
- *discussing the new movies we got, while eating dinner*
- Dad: I haven't watched The Change-Up yet 'cause your mom said there was "too much nudity" *bursts into sarcastic laughter*
- Me: I didn't think there was. Olivia Wilde takes her top off.
- Dad: Really? Well, then I might just have to watch that tonight..
- Mom: Well, fine then! Then I'll just watch Conan tonight!
- Dad: HA okay, have fun watching a cross-eyed barbarian, I'd rather look at Olivia Wilde
- Me: Yea, mom, Olivia Wilde doesn't even compare to a cross-eyed barbarian.
- Mom: I won't be looking at his eyes.