the devil’s in the details | spoilers through episode 9 | heungsoo/namsoon
the problem isn’t that namsoon and heungsoo are in a closet. once upon a time that would have been fine, that would have been normal, namsoon would have leaned in right against heungsoo’s body and said, “this is fucked up” and heungsoo might have said, “you’re fucked up, crazy bastard” and laughed and ruffled namsoon’s hair and even if namsoon hadn’t said it, they’d both know heungsoo had meant thank you.
the problem isn’t that they’re in a closet then, not really. namsoon’s always been in a closet, and it’s always been hard and gotten harder, but namsoon learned how to live with it. the problem is that heungsoo isn’t looking at him and namsoon knows that because he’s looking at heungsoo, drinking in his closeness, the muscles namsoon doesn’t remember, the new height he’s put on, the way his pants are still a bit too short, still ill-fitting, the straggled breaths he’s taking. the problem isn’t the closet, it isn’t the walls and it isn’t that there isn’t enough space for the both of them, it’s that there’s too much space, there’s three years and so many scars and words neither of them can say, words namsoon knows he doesn’t even deserve to hear. he wants: “that was my last cigarette” he wants “we could have shared it” he wants “c’mere, you bastard” he wants “you overreacted as always” and would even settle for “i’m gonna kill you when we get out of here” but instead namsoon gets silence. and it’s the silence that breaks him.
they stay still for two minutes and forty-nine seconds and namsoon counts up the time in heartbeats. and when it’s done, when heungsoo pushes his way out, heavily favoring his right leg, namsoon feel the guilt he’s been carrying in his stomach for three years curdle just a bit more unpleasantly and sets his lips and waits for heungsoo to speak.
“call your friends,” heungsoo says.
they’re not my friends, namsoon can’t say, because they sort of are, now. you were my only real friend, namsoon can’t say. he isn’t that cruel—not anymore, at least.
so instead he nods and feels for his phone.
Unexpected encounter
The corners of his lips curved into the tiniest hint of a smile at her reply. He remained silent, letting her finish before a small, almost unnoticeable chuckle left his lips. “I mean your name.” He said finally, a little amused yet surprised at the same time. “But it’s rather rare someone knows of the meaning behind my name.” He added afterwards, not wanting to make her feel embarrassing for misunderstood his words. Though he was part to blame for not making it clear earlier.
His brows quirked up slightly when she mentioned how his name was fitting for him. His aqua eyes glanced over to her, taking the words in carefully. No one had ever made any comment on his name or his appearance, mostly due to his social status and how people treated him because he was a royalty. This probably was the first time someone gave an honest opinion about him, personally directed to him, not his family or his lineage. But then she quickly brushed the matter off. Now this was a side of her he didn’t see before. His head tilted slightly before shaking.
“I don’t mind.” was his only reply to her panicking state. It was rare he meets people who would talk to him normally, not taking in the fact that he was a prince. She was probably one of those few that address him by his name alone, without having his ‘prince’ title accompanied it.
He gave another nod about his ‘house’ as she called it. That word was unfamiliar to him, or more like he never uses it before in his entire life. He was used to the word ‘realm’, as to refer to the place where he resides in. “It’s not large. Just a small city.” He began, thinking of the area he was responsible to protect with his life. “And not even the entire city. Considered it just a small part of a city.” He took a pause, mulling over on the fact and how he should put it. “That fraction of the city controls the Crystals.”
And when she let out another sentence about how she couldn’t get used to the fact that he was a prince, he almost let out a small chuckle. The girl rushed forward for some reason, causing him to reach out and grab her arm almost immediately. It was a simple reflex. He pulled her back beside him, blue eyes flashed crimson for a moment. “Don’t rush out like that. I told you it’s dangerous.” He warned, looking deep into her gaze to make his point clear.
“Don’t do that again.”
