Round 6: Tempest 2000

Awful. Really really bad. Tempest 2000 looks to be the worst game ever.

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Garbutt vs Sean: Sean wins. I’m not really sure how. It seemed to involve a revolving funnel. Well played.

Scum vs Sean: More of the same. Sean wins. This is spazzed up.

Nick vs Scum: In a confusing barrel of laser fire, Scum scrapes a victory. Finishing with a whimper of ‘I don’t really know…’, the crowd is both shocked and disappointed.

Garbutt vs Scum: Clawing back some respectability, Garbutt triumphs over a northern bovril bastard.

Garbutt vs Parmiter: With dual phallus exposure, Garbutt and Parmiter engage in a battle of wits. Garbutt won by a horribly narrow margin, much to Parmiter’s enlargement.

Garbutt vs Nick: In a Hobb Nobb dual, Nick and Garbutt fought tooth and nail…Nick emerging victorious (much to his confusion, and enlargement).

Parmiter vs Scum: Barely feigning interest, Scum and Parmiter duke it out in a macho-man-off. Parmiter wins, Scum yells ‘I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING’.

Sean vs Parmiter: On the comeback trail, Sean tries to maintain his 100% record on what has otherwise proved to be a completely unplayable 50/50 collective. A tense impasse ends with Sean eventually showing the form that had deserted him so early on in the competition, overcoming a very valiant last stand.

Parmiter vs Nick: Amidst mockery of Sean, Parmiter and Nick fight it out. Parmiter takes the checkered flag in what was a highly tense matchup.

Sean vs Nick : Only one game left of this….thank fuck. Sean’s whistling already, he has this wrapped up and he knows it. Nick searching for the mushroom powerup that doesnt exist. Nick desperately fighting for his life against Neo as the binary code scrolls in front of his eyes. Tense finish…..MAJOR UPSET. The whistler gets beaten by Princess Toadstool!!

As everyone is by now covered in hatred,we award 2 bonus points each for playing that godawful piece of crap.

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Final Standings (Round 5)

Scum: 46

Nick: 46

Sean: 32

Garbutt: 32

Parmiter: 24