“I just have to come face-to-face with the fact that I’m not gifted. I can appreciate art and I love music, but, it’s sad, really, because I feel like I have a lot to express and I’m not gifted.”

—Vicky Cristina Barcelona 

I swear every 1D fan can draw or sing.

& then there’s me & I’m just sitting here like….

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I CANT DO ANYTHING! :(

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I'm done with the Kardashian's and anyone sympathetic to the agenda of Kardashia.

I just posted a really unfunny tweet about the Kardashian Barbie. I hate it when things compel me to be anything less than fucking hilarious on Twitter. So it started out as bitterness about one unfunny tweet. I’ve had unfunny tweets in my 3000 tweet career but this one gnawed at me like Newt Gingrich working on the last sparerib on the platter.

The Kardashians are the ultimate in ‘famous for nothing.’ If their father, who died of cancer, hadn’t successfully defended noted murderer and beheader OJ Simpson, I promise you wouldn’t even know if a Kardashian was a ‘what’ or a ‘who’. Kardashian’s wife married former Olympian Bruce Jenner who, from the looks of it, now performs plastic surgery on himself in his copious spare time when he can break from his job which is apparently sitting in the kitchen looking surprised. I’ve seen better looking burn victims. But I digress…

So the Kardashians that anyone cares about are comprised of three sisters and now a brother who appeared on Dancing With the Stars throwing the linguistic community into chaos as they questioned the meaning of the word “star”.

The sisters are famous for having big asses. They don’t sing, act, write or create anything. They are truly famous for nothing yet have networks tripping over themselves to offer airtime for one TV series after another.

This makes our previous Paris Hilton fixation look positively scholarly. These three Kardashian sisters have asses that have captured the imagination of the entire NBA. Almost literally. There might be one shooting guard for the league’s Oklahoma City Thunder who hasn’t had a toe curling adventure with one of these girls. It’s shocking. One, that there is an NBA team in Oklahoma City and two, that there’s a black guy that hadn’t patiently waited his turn at some afterparty.

That makes someone famous these days? That’s the Barbie you want for your daughter? That one? 

I for one will no longer feed the beast. I’m done tweeting or talking about them. I got most of the jabs I could think of out of my system here anyway. So there’s that.

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