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we’re a very non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let our dog name us. my name is Woof, and i’d like you to meet my husband, Woof. these are my kids Woof and Woof

someone made a really good point in the commentary of a post once which basically boiled down to the fact that james and lily’s patronuses are complements of each other (stag / doe) as opposed to snape and lily’s (doe / doe) which just goes to show how love and obsession are not the same thing at all thank u for ur time

can I get nutrition facts on that pussy?

you wanna take this outside??? you wanna take this to the park? you wanna look at the stars with me? you wanna go out for a romantic dinner afterwards?? 

one day i’m going to stop complaining and that’s when i’m going to die

when im like 40 i hope im really hot so when there’s like a class reunion everyone will be like daaaaaamn

“A saudade não gosta de morrer, ela gosta de matar. ”

— Evanescence

pick up line: youre cooler than ice haha please date me

what she says: im fine

what she means: 

image

u like bad boys right i dont want to brag or anything but i dont ask my parent for their permission before surfing the web on Disney Channel dot com

how many followers do i need before i get random anons

people who always send mass snapchats are so confusing like????? was this meant for me????? should i reply to it????? why are you doing this?????

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