10/19/2011 19:39
Time for some logic!
I am brought pain by the things I desire.
Therefore, to avoid pain, I should stop desiring things.
I am a human being.
Human beings are preprogrammed to desire certain things such as reproduction, acceptance, and attention.
Therefore, I am preprogrammed to desire those things.
Therefore, I should attempt to violate my preprogramming, which will engender conflict.
Conflict brings pain.
Therefore, to end pain, I must endure pain.
Fuck.
SATAN'S LOGIC
Alot of Republicans are terrified of President Obama because he is “evil.” That’s what Michele Bachmann’s supporters believe, and she just won the Ames, Iowa Republican presidential caucus. EVIL.
It’s a strange syllogism. Part One: “Obama is socialist.”
Let’s see… Obamacare funnels uninsured people into the private insurance system (without even a pubic option as an option). Obama rescues Detrioit auto makers and leaves them in private hands. Obama bails out Wall Street and asks little in return. None of this is socialist. He’s trying to save capitalism just as FDR did, who was also called a socialist in his day. (Still is in the Far Right Universe.)
Then there’s Part Two. It’s unclear why “socialism” is evil, as compared to… let’s see… laissez faire capitalism. Child labor. Dangerous workplaces including dangerous coal mines. Criminal theft on Wall Street. Corporate pollution, political bribes, knowingly selling unsafe products… these and other capitalist abuses were belatedly subjected to “socialist” legislation and regulation, albeit with weak and inconsistent enforcement.
The conclusion? “Therefore, Obama is evil.”
I’d get it if they called Obama “bad for America” or some such foolishness. But “evil?” That’s a theological term belonging to the bailiwick of Satan. So by this logic, SATAN wants you to buy health insurance, and SATAN wants to save auto workers’ jobs. SATAN wants Wall Street to be held accountable, and SATAN wants our food to be safeguarded by government inspection.
This is the logic running through the Republican Party as they select their candidate for President of the United States.
A lesson in English: What is a syllogism?
A syllogism is a form of deductive reasoning, in which two or more ideas are proposed which lead to a final deduction.
An example of a syllogism would be:
- Unicorns are attracted to virgins
- Unicorns are attracted to Merlin
- Therefore, Merlin is a virgin
Or,
- Merlin fans are perverts
- Tuesdae is a fan of Merlin
- Therefore, Tuesdae is a pervert
A syllogism
A few moments before the 9th Doctor regenerates, he tells Rose about a planet called Barcelona where “they’ve got dogs with no noses”. Now we can assume without loss of generality that Voldemort is a bastard and a dog. (Everyone should agree on that.)
And he has no nose.
So, Voldemort is from Barcelona. I’m picturing him with a colourful shirt and shorts sitting on the beach. :3
End of Proof.
