How to Stay Peaceful Around Stressed People
When we’re around people who are stressed and negative it can upset our own sense of inner peace and calm. Here are some suggestions to help you with this:
1. Imagine there’s an invisible shield that separates you from them. See their attitudes, reactions and high expectations as being their choice and decision- they’re not a part of you. You are two separate people – don’t let them influence you.
2. Disconnect from the source of negativity. End the call, close your email, or get up and walk away. When we feel stressed and angry we’re more likely to react – so maintain your control by taking steps to decompress.
3. Avoid toxic people if you possibly can. Avoid people who guilt trip you, or are constantly complaining, or who like to sit in wallow in their misery. They’ll quickly drain your energy and drive you to despair.
4. Be a positive person. Go on the offensive and reach out to people who need some encouragement, a smile or a kind word. That will keep you feeling peaceful and positive.
5. Spend time with people with whom you can connect, and who inspire and motivate you to be a better person. Look out for people who improve your self-esteem, who are positive role models and live life to the full. They’ll broaden your capacity to give and grow as well. (So let them be your focus – and not the stressed out people!)
Human beings are the only animals who can create their own fear where no threat exists. Chronic anxiety can compromise the immune system, lead to high blood pressure and heart disease.
Why?
Because fear is a huge stressor. Nature only designed us to experience fear in short bursts, say to run away from a predator. We have not evolved to deal with fear as a constant state. It is akin to running the motor of your car at top speeds while still in first gear.
Somethings gotta give.
When Stress Strikes: 10 Questions To Help You Take Better Care of Yourself
psychcentral.comSelf-care is the basis for our well-being. And when stress strikes, we especially need to attend to our emotional, physical and spiritual needs and practice
1. Who can I turn to for support and comfort?
Who helps you feel safe and lets you feel your feelings? For instance, this might be your partner, a best friend, your parent or a sibling. It’s someone you can turn to when you’re overwhelmed and afraid.
2. Who should I avoid?
These are individuals who heighten your anxiety, aren’t good listeners and overwhelm you with questions and advice. For instance, this might be your co-workers, who are less than supportive and like to gossip about everyone’s problems.
3. What does my body need to feel nourished, healthy and strong?
Maybe you need to drink water frequently, practice yoga, get moresleep and take a walk in the park a few times a week.
4. What responsibilities do I need to relinquish so I can attend to my needs and feeling my feelings?
You might need to say no to extra projects at work, hire a housekeeper for a few hours or set firm boundaries with certain friends.
5. What unhealthy or unhelpful strategies or activities do I need to avoid?
You might need to limit caffeine to minimize anxiety or stop watching TV too late, so you can get more sleep.
6. What spiritual practice connects me to God or another higher power I believe in?
This could be reading a religious text, praying, meditating or attending a 12-step program.
7. What will bring me comfort right now?
This might be anything from getting a massage to wearing comfy clothes to drinking a warm cup of tea.
8. How can I express my feelings healthfully?
This might include talking about your feelings to your support system and writing about your feelings in a journal.
9. What object can I use as a talisman to remind me to relax and be in the present moment?
For instance, this might be a pair of rosary beads or a picture of a loved one in a locket.
10. What’s a healthy distraction for me when I need to take a break?
This could be anything from watching funny films to playing with your pet to knitting to reading your favorite magazine.
Jot down your answers in a journal, and keep it somewhere visible (and handy). This way, the next time stress strikes, you don’t need to think about how you’ll support your needs and practice self-care. You’ll already have a thoughtful, effective plan all written down.
Reflecting on the OSCE
Last night, over the period of three hours, we went through the last OSCE, a clinical skills examination involving a scenario with a simulated patient.
As usual, I began quite nervous with butterflies fluttering in my stomach. From station to station, I became more confident and more relaxed, as the differential and the questions flowed through more easily through my mind.
At my last station, I was met with a scenario I had never encountered before in practice. I struggled at the door, scratching my head as I read the scenario. The bell rang and, without any solid grasp of what I wanted to ask or what physical exams I needed to perform to find the cause, I went in.
My struggle was obvious. I had elicited a passable history that helped to point me in the right direction; however, my focused physical yielded no findings. I was stuck.
I paused for a moment, and excused myself as I gathered my thoughts. Ding. One minute remaining. Think Tom. Think! Hastily I added a few extra tests. Again, no findings. Ding. Your exam is now over.
I looked to the doctor marking me, whose eyes asked with disappointment: did you study this topic at all?
No. I guess I probably should.
