1/29/13

Taco Bell officially announced that in the coming months they will be introducing the Cool Ranch Doritos Taco. A lot of people are excited about this, mainly because anything that takes your mind off of what’s in the taco is a great achievement.

In an interview with Oprah, Whitney Houston’s mother said that if Whitney was in a gay relationship she would not have been okay with it. Anti-Gay and religious groups released statements saying they actually condone homosexual relationships, but only if the other choice is to be with Bobby Brown.

A photo of Justin Bieber taken at a meet and greet in Florida shows the singer posing with a fan and grabbing her breast. Since the meet and greet occurred in Florida, Bieber had to bend over to reach the breast, which was dangling below the woman’s waist.

A woman in Brazil tried to kill her husband by stuffing poison in her vagina and having him perform oral sex on her. The man said he can’t believe she tried to kill him, especially right after he finished digging a six foot deep garden for her in their backyard.

There’s going to be a new King and Queen of the Netherlands soon, and many say the future Queen looks a lot like Britney Spears. When asked for comment the real Britney Spears cackled madly, screamed and jumped out of a window.

Google Maps has unveiled detailed maps of North Korea for the first time. Citizens of North Korea are excited about the updated Google maps, especially since Apple’s iPhone 5 maps have been leading users into known nuclear test sites.

The Boy Scouts of America are considering letting in openly gay members for the first time ever. Not much is expected to change in an organization where boys already pitch tents and sleep side by side, and are responsible for all the cooking and sewing.

A 23 year old high school math teacher is in trouble for tweeting naked photos of herself and talking about drug use online. However, her students are said to be surprisingly attentive, and recently all aced an exam which focused on weight conversions of lbs to ounces to grams, and fractions.

A bus driver in Chile accidentally played a hardcore porn film to his passengers. He apologized, and apparently afterwards everyone had a very comfortable trip and didn’t feel weird at all about what may have happened in the bus before they boarded.