A Clyde Donovan Headcanon (Part 1)
I’ve had bits and pieces of my Clyde Donovan headcanon saved in drafts for a while now but never managed to put it all together into something readable until now. It got a little long so I’ve split it into two parts. This one focuses on Clyde and his non-family relationships; the next one will be about his family, both before and in the wake of “Reverse Cowgirl,” and the ways in which his family has shaped who Clyde is (to me).
I have two modes for thinking about Clyde: headcanon, extrapolating and building on his character based on what’s in the show; and headfanon, reserved for a fanworks interpretation that may or may not be grounded in the show. There’s a lot of overlap and it’s mostly Clyde’s relationships outside his family that fall strictly into the headfanon category, so I’ll tackle those first.
[Clyde & His Friends]
I like fic and art featuring Craig’s Gang—Craig, Clyde, Tweek, Token. That’s definitely a headfanon thing for me, because there is no cohesive, consistent Craig’s Gang in my headcanon. Craig is sometimes shown in opposition to the four main boys, but not with the same kids at his side every time. In the ninja battle in “Good Time with Weapons,” his group is made up of himself, Token, Clyde, and Jimmy. In “South Park is Gay,” his metrosexual gang is himself, Token, Tweek, and Jason. When the Sexy Action School News Team goes up against Animals Close Up With A Wide Angled Lens in “Quest for Ratings,” Token is a member of the news team while Kenny is helping Craig. Token also got involved in the battle of the bands, joining Faith+1, which Craig sat out entirely; and both Clyde and Token were in Coon and Friends while Craig wasn’t.
So while Craig’s Gang is a part of my headfanon, my headcanon on Clyde is that he’s friendly with almost everyone, hangs out more with some than others but doesn’t consider himself to belong to any one clique. Much of the time Clyde seems to be up for almost everything (e.g. superheroes, ninjas, pirates, athletics [he’s seen on the football, baseball, and basketball teams], musicals, border wars, capturing fortune telling devices from girls), regardless of which of his friends are involved—even if he lives to regret it (his meltdown in “Fatbeard,” for example).
This was confirmed for me by “Reverse Cowgirl,” in which Clyde plays football with the four main boys, and then is helped by Stan, Kyle, and Jimmy. I’ve seen some complaints about Jimmy’s inclusion in place of Kenny, but not only did I have no problem with that, I was reassured to see someone else concerned about and trying to help Clyde through things. (This comes at sacrifice to the piece of my headfanon where Kenny and Clyde are friends who first formed a bond through an appreciation of porn their other friends didn’t seem to share, and then discovered they enjoyed each other’s company even without the porn.)
[Clyde & His Girlfriends]
Clyde pretty obviously likes girls in general. He ditches the others in favor of a Playboy centerfold in “Make Love, Not Warcraft,” he prepares a presentation on lesbian cheerleaders in “Ginger Kids,” and he seems to really enjoy being the center of all that female attention in “The List.” He also likes some specific girls.
First there’s Bebe, who, even though she dated Clyde in both 3rd grade and 4th grade, is probably more my headfanon than headcanon. I like to think they’re on-again, off-again right through to high school graduation and maybe beyond, but there’s really no evidence for that on the show. Just like there’s no evidence for a theory I developed recently, that free shoes were just a cover in “The List”—Bebe rigged it because she wanted Clyde to be popular so he’d feel good.
Marjorine is also more headfanon than headcanon. Clyde’s “Nice!” in her episode is probably a general expression of appreciation for girls who like to get their snootch pounded on Friday nights, rather than anything specific about Marjorine…but ships have been built on less. ;) At any rate, in that moment, I think Clyde is reading Marjorine as female while simultaneously aware of her male biology (he knows it’s Butters). So I like to believe that he’ll grow up to be comfortable with his attraction toward both trans and cis women.
[Clyde & His Boyfriends]
Clyde has a couple of moments with Cartman that aren’t much of a stretch for me to see as precursors to D/s (with the pointer in “Eek! A Penis” and the suggestive tone Cartman uses when he singles out Clyde to “take it [and] like it”; the slap Ike administers in “Fatbeard,” which pleases Cartman—I can see how this one might be more of a reach).
I don’t see that kind of relationship developing between Cartman and Clyde, but it does make me track Clyde with submissive tendencies in my headfanon.
I readily admit that shipping Clyde with boys is pure headfanon, inspired solely by fanworks. Craig/Clyde is my favorite and I can’t even begin to pretend to justify it with any reasons other than I like it. (And I do really like it!)
Next up: Clyde & His Family, and how Clyde became who he is (in Miaou’s mind)…
SP Headcanons: Craig Tucker
Craig Tucker
Craaaaaig. Craig is obvs. my favorite. Let’s see. I’ve been writing for/exploring his character since like 2005. He’s like, really near and dear to my heart lolol.
I don’t see Craig as a super stoic badass with severe emotional problems like I see a lot of people seem to interpret him. He’s just never quite come off to me that way. Instead I see someone who is just pretty cynical, mostly because they’re a realist. I also see him being a fatalist by nature, and needing to sort of constantly work on changing his attitude on life—he wouldn’t like being that way. He doesn’t like to fight or anything, and normally doesn’t go around being a jerk (except to Clyde), but he’s just kind of closed off and cynical, which makes people think he’s a way bigger jerk than he actually is. He’s also not afraid to call it as it is, he’s blunt, honest, and never sugar coats things—except if it’s about himself.
Once he starts hitting puberty, I see hormones kind of doing a number on him. I see him struggling with some anger issues when he’s about middle-school age, and also being pretty manic. He’d try not to take it out on anyone, but once in a while he’d lash out at Clyde. His family usually gets the brunt of it. He’d really keep to himself around this time and only associate with his closest friends. This is around the time I see him really disengaging from Stan’s group.
By high school though, I see Craig having chilled out a good deal, and he wouldn’t be nearly as angry or manic. He would, however, still have pretty poor impulse control. He’d be prone to short bouts of depression at about 16 or so, but that’s pretty standard for most teens anyway. He’d start getting more and more cynical and disenchanted with life around this point in his life, but it’d clear up a lot once he’s moved on to college.
^ Something I wrote up a few months ago but was too afraid to post for some reason. Now you can have it. At least I’m pretty sure I never posted it lololol sorry if I did.
A Clyde Donovan Headcanon (Part 2 / Conclusion)
Yesterday I posted some thoughts about Clyde and his relationships outside his family. This post has the good stuff, I think: Clyde’s relationship with his family, specifically with his mother, and how that’s been formative in making Clyde who he is (in my head).
{fanart by runmonsterun; original here}
Since I think Clyde’s most important relationship up to now has been with his mom, and since a lot of my headcanon for him is built on that, it makes sense to start with my take on “Reverse Cowgirl.”
[The Donovan Family & “Reverse Cowgirl”]
While I was watching the Season 16 premiere and for some time afterward, I thought the beautiful headcanon I’d built up was gone forever. I almost couldn’t even accept that was his mom talking to him like that. When she blamed him from beyond the grave? I mean, come on. This is the woman who so sweetly sang “Vunter Slaush” to her son in the course of explaining to him whether Slash is real or make believe? I don’t think so.
The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me, and Trey’s voicing especially bothered me. Others have noted a “weirdness” to Mrs. Donovan’s voice in “Reverse Cowgirl.” I don’t think the weirdness comes from the fact that Trey voiced her in this episode but from the contrast between the way he voiced her here—with the shrill/harsh/hysterical female voice he uses not so much for individual characters but for certain types (a type Mrs. Donovan was never shown to be previously)—and how she’s been voiced before, and the dissonance that created in her character.
It was obviously her. But somehow it wasn’t her. And that’s when it came to me: yes, that was Clyde’s mom, but there was something wrong with her. Something medically wrong that, among other things, had effected a personality change. Something serious enough that got Clyde’s sister, who is at least ten years older (I’m putting her at 23 or 24 years old), to come back to help out; or else their mom’s reference to her as if she still lives at home is another sign of her deteriorating mental state. (More thoughts on the siblings are in ficlet form, here.)
It had been going on for some time, maybe only a few weeks, but long enough that it was affecting Clyde’s behavior, too. That’s why he got so quiet when his mom was screaming at him in front of his friends, that’s why he just kind of took it (compare, for example, to the mutual and very normal irritation between parent and child when she tells him to take out the trash in the Coon and Friends arc).
And that’s why, when Kyle asks him if his mom is always like this, Clyde doesn’t answer directly, instead asking them not to say anything to anyone at school. In my headcanon, Clyde’s dad had explained to him that his mom was dealing with an illness (brain tumor, maybe?) that was going to make her act not like herself, and also that they had to be careful and patient with Mom while she dealt with it. I’m thinking of how careful Mr. Donovan is when his wife goes to the school to berate Clyde. It doesn’t read to me like Mr. Donovan is afraid she’s going to turn on him, really (he doesn’t have the same cowering vibe Bridon Gueermo’s mom did, for example)—it feels like he’s more worried for her. And so is Clyde, I think. That fits with the incident at home. He doesn’t say, “God, my mom is such a bitch.” He’s quiet, looking kind of sad and defeated. Because he knows why she’s acting like this—something is wrong with her.
(I am well aware that this almost certainly wasn’t creator intention. Trey Parker, you beautiful, beautiful man. I know you didn’t mean to do any of this, but things happened and now I’ve taken them and made them into this.)
So yeah: at least for now, nothing and no one can take away my headcanon that Clyde’s mom was loving and supportive and awesome—until something happened to her that made her not herself.
[Clyde & How His Family Made Him Who He Is]
From the apparent age difference between Clyde and his sister, my headcanon is that Clyde was an unplanned but nonetheless loved and even doted upon child. They haven’t spoiled him in a way that’s given him a sense of entitlement (compare to Cartman), but I think his parents are permissive with and understanding of their son. One of the few pieces of Clyde headcanon I’ve mentioned before is how his parents have always encouraged him to be himself and express himself. Like I’m certain that one of the first albums they gave him when he was a wee little kid was Free to Be…You and Me, and his favorite song was, of course, “It’s All Right to Cry.”
{fanart by yaahoooo; original here}
Two of the precepts the Donovans have fostered in their son are the belief that real men not only cry but wear their hearts on their sleeves (my thanks to yaahoooo for allowing me to include her wonderful picture here; when I first saw it, I felt like she had peered into my head and drew what she found there); and that there’s no such thing as a stupid question. He may not question things or ask the kind of philosophical, game-changing questions that Kyle, Cartman, and Stan do (to varying degrees and in different ways with different motives; but this isn’t the post for that), but Clyde is definitely a question-asker. He goes for the small, practical things that others must be thinking but no one else is saying. Some memorable ones to me: “Am I a Pilgrim or an Indian?” (Weight Gain 4000), “What if we don’t know anyone who fought in Vietnam?” (The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka), and my personal favorite, “What if we don’t want to be your friend?” (Professor Chaos).
Maybe Clyde isn’t the smartest kid around, by the way, but I really don’t think he’s stupid. He does think that 5 x 2 = 12 (Bigger, Longer, & Uncut), which is one of my favorite Clyde moments ever—he’s so happy to be going for it and answering the question!—but I think that just means he’s bad in math. He’s good enough to be one of the best spellers in the class (Hooked on Monkey Phonics), anyhow.
So the Donovans are supportive and encouraging, and I think they’ve spent a lot of time preparing for how to handle anything that might come up with Clyde: how to deal with his first crush on a girl, how to deal with his first crush on a boy, what course of action to take in the event of the zombie apocalypse, the best way to explain the nuances of whether Slash is real or make believe, and so on.
It’s a cooperative effort. There are things they do together as a family, and there are also things his mom and dad do with him individually. Like he gets into music and learns how to appreciate vinyl with his dad (headfanon inspired by Arvy), and he gets into food and cooking with his mom.
{commission done for me by runmonsterun in December 2011; original here}
When it comes to food, what Clyde loves most of all is his mom’s cooking. I know Butters says in “Cherokee Hair Tampons” that Clyde isn’t helping them get Cartman’s kidney for Kyle because “his mom made tacos,” but I put the emphasis on “mom” rather than “tacos.” A taco is just a taco to Clyde—unless his mom made it, in which case it is a thing not to be missed, along with her lemon bars and everything else she makes. I mean, I’ve given up seemingly fantastic opportunities just because my mom made minestrone soup. I’m not obsessed with minestrone soup or even soup in general, but when my mom makes it…dude, you just don’t turn that down for anything. Likewise for Clyde, his mom’s food is the one thing that trumps his adventurous, up-for-anything spirit.
I think she encourages that adventurous spirit in him generally and brings it to the kitchen herself, and I can see him spending a lot of time with her there. My post-high school headcanon/headfanon for Clyde has him going into the military and seeing an active tour of duty overseas—but when he comes back, he focuses his energies on cooking. I’m not fully settled on whether he’d go to culinary school or not. I think he’d like the discipline to a certain degree, but I also think his mom’s experimental, free-wheeling style in the kitchen is a big influence on him, and he might wind up dropping out of culinary school to pursue a self-taught path. Either way, I know it’s Randy’s dream—but Clyde is the one who becomes a cooking show contestant (Top Chef; he doesn’t win but he gets pretty far and does his mom’s memory proud).
While I think of Clyde as a foodie, I don’t think of him as fat. Sure, in “Cartman’s Silly Hate Crime” he gets labeled “the second fattest kid in South Park,” but that seems as much for the sake of expediency—the boys need a 4th member for their sled team—as accuracy. When Butters says he thinks it’s Clyde, who conveniently happens to be standing next to him (thinks, not that he’s certain), Kyle doesn’t say, “You’re right,” he says, “Yeah, okay.” Clyde also isn’t drawn significantly heavier than the other kids. On the other hand, he does use the Cartman defense—”I’m just kinda big-boned,” so I can see him as being on the chubby side as a kid and growing up to have a solid body type. Someone (Scarlett, maybe?) once suggested the idea that Clyde carries an extra five pounds as a teenager and into adulthood that you don’t notice until he takes his shirt off. I became so smitten with that idea, I’ve incorporated it into my own headcanon.
[Miscellaneous Clyde Headcanon That Doesn’t Fit Anywhere Organically]
Speaking of the way he looks: I think Clyde has super thick, lush hair. Like, those lice made a really good real estate choice. ;)
[The End & Thanks!]
Well, that’s it. Sorry this got so long, and thanks very much if you managed to read all the way through!
stan marsh high school headcanon
he’s on the football team, and he’s good, but he still gets ripped on constantly because he’s a big environmental/activist geek. when he’s not goofing off with the bros, he’s helping set up the SAVE THE WHALES booth that he and Wendy both man weekly- Kyle occasionally helps, but he’s busy editing the school paper.
stan and wendy are still together, but strained. she is extremely ambitious for herself, and has her eye on the prize (ivy league). she wants to know what stan wants to do with himself, and he’s like ‘i don’t know…what school is kyle going to?’ which drives her insane. It’s not that stan’s a bad student, he’s just kind of iffy on his plans. and he’s a good enough athlete that yeah, he’ll probably end up applying for athletic scholarships and getting into a good school. but he’ll only except them if kyle goes or if he can drive to kyle’s college.
he doesn’t understand why, when wendy gets into some great school, she says they should see other people. he’s still a dunce when it comes to that.
that’s okay though, because kyle said it’s cool if stan comes and visits him at school every weekend. just like they do in high school, lol. cartman and kenny usually end up coming along too, but kenny has to catch the ‘this is getting awkward’ vibe and assure cartman out, who takes until senior year of high school to realize that kyle and stan are into each other.
too bad it takes kyle and stan until sophomore year of college.
TUCKERS HEADCANON
So I’ll start off by saying that in my headcanon, Tuckers are infamous in Park County for being pretty trashy—not as bad as the McCormicks but close. Craig’s parents are actually way more well off and way more functional than most other Tuckers. Which actually isn’t saying a lot, because Craig’s family is still pretty low income, and they still have their problems and stuff.
Something about Craig’s parents I wanna get out of the way first: Thomas isn’t Craig’s biological father. He is however, still the only father Craig has ever known. There’s no real weirdness about this in the family, it’s nothing that upsets Craig, it’s just a simple fact. It doesn’t affect how much they all love each other.
Alright. Mrs. Tucker. I call her Susan. I think of her as one of the youngest moms out of all the kids. Her and Thomas married when she was probably about 20 or so.
Thomas is a good few years older than Susan. They dated while Susan was still in high school, but her parents and all of her friends had a huge problem with it, not only because he was much older, but because he was a Tucker. They eventually broke up once Thomas left town for a couple of years for a job opportunity.
Susan dated around for a while after high school, and eventually ended up with another long term relationship. It was unfortunately, a really shitty relationship. Around the time she decided she wanted out of it, she found out she was pregnant. She figured she was trapped and she was going through a really tough time at that point. After deciding that staying with that guy was her best option, he just suddenly up and left her. He couldn’t deal with the pregnancy.
Then, Thomas came back to town. He asked her out again almost as soon as he was back, and they got back together after the first date, because obviously they still loved each other. As soon as Thomas found out she was pregnant, he proposed to her. They figured if they could end up getting married before she had the baby, they wouldn’t have to worry about the town gossiping about them.
The two of them love each other very much, but unfortunately as time passed, they developed a pretty rocky relationship. They’re not very well off, so money problems often put a heavy strain on their family. Susan is pretty aggressive, while Thomas is rather passive, so unfortunately they have a lot of fights that will drag on for days. There have been times where Susan has even kicked him out before.
However, they always make up and get back together. It’s tough on their kids when they fight, but Craig and Ruby are pretty resilient kids, in fact I think their fighting affects Craig a lot more than Ruby. I think Ruby realizes it’s always gonna blow over, while Craig always assumes the worst.
They realize it’s not fair to their children when they fight, but they’re doing the best they can, and they do love Craig and Ruby. I see them always trying to make it up to the kids when stuff like that happens.
I dunno. I have some more headcanon for Susan specifically but that’s all I’ll go into for now.
So yeah. They have their problems, but they also have a lot of love for each other and for their kids.
Some of my Craig headcanons
He’s terrible with kids. Honestly, hand him an infant, and he’ll just be like… what do I do with it? Give him a kid old enough to stand there, and they’ll just stare at each other. He’ll be lounging on the couch, playing video games, and just look at the kid at random. Like… what? What do you want? What are you doing? Why are you staring at me? Go away. You’re not mine.
Gets touchy being best friends with Token and Clyde. Not so much with Token, because he doesn’t brag about how rich he is and uses it carefully, but Clyde throws things around, and Craig takes it seriously, and pisses at him for it.
Works at the auto shop with Kenny. He wants to work, but anything face-to-face with a customer would be a bad idea.
Has a motorcycle.
Really rather close with Kenny. They’re unlikely best friends.
Craig is the tallest and oldest in class. He’s eighteen and six foot one.
He really cares about Clyde. A lot.
Kyle
Very sarcastic. He thinks he’s funny.
He’s got a very good sense of what’s right and wrong, of himself, and when other people are being idiots. He’s judgmental, but not in a harsh way. He believes the way he believes and, while open to other ideas and opinions, isn’t swayed by common belief. Given evidence by his unwillingness to follow the metro trend and the church thing where they shave their heads. XD
Student body treasurer.
Partners with Wendy in their AP classes a lot. They’re great study buddies.
