“So, because some men have managed to sexualize stretchy yoga pants, that means stretchy yoga pants are now inappropriate/slutty/cause for “alarm.” Because the standards for what it’s okay for women to wear should be dictated by men’s libidos. Nearly every woman I have talked to about this — in the office, on Facebook, on Twitter — has echoed the sentiments of the women commenting on the GMP piece: we wear yoga pants because they are comfortable. Period. The suggestion that we A) wear them because we want sexual attention from men and B) that therefore they shouldn’t be worn in scenarios in which that attention would be “inappropriate” takes all the responsibility for controlling male lust off men and places it on women. And that is some bullshit.” ”— The Soapbox: Women Wear Yoga Pants Because They Are Comfortable, Not Because They Apparently Give You A Boner
human equality > marriage equalityyes yes, yall! same sex marriage is all fine and good, but there is also the subject of PEOPLE’S LIVES AT STAKE that has unfortunately taken a backseat to marriage equality for TOO LONG, and its NOT okay and we are doing a DISSERVICE to our queer youth, our fellow LGBTQIA PoC comrades, and our trans-identified family. marriage is easy to support, but do you know about the importance of using the preferred pronouns of trans people in your neighborhood or workplace or church? do you know the importance of not passing judgement on queer youth who resort to sex work to keep themselves fed and sheltered? do you recognize your own privilege as a non-PoC in the community and how that affords you safety, acceptance and benefits that many queer PoC do not have? these things are important, because, unfortunately, support for marriage equality does not equal support for all LGBTQIA identified individuals. this fight, although necessary, is not manifesting itself in the order that is best for humanity; it is backwards as shit. but i will take it! i will! i just urge everyone to understand how complicated these puzzle pieces are to put together, and to not forget about the thousands, perhaps millions of people who are a part of this community whose needs will not be met with the passing of a marriage equality bill. </rant over>
Why artists don't finish commissions.
Almost anyone who’s bought their weight in commissioned art has run into a flaky artist or two. Many have even forked out cash only to have an artist take it and run without fulfilling their end of the bargain.
This is a super discouraging experience and does hurt the amateur online market quite a bit. However, there are ways of spotting a flake and avoiding them. Understanding what might cause an artist to drag their feet on a commission can help.
The following is in no way a defense for artists who do provide poor business, there’s no excuse for petty thievery such as taking money for a service without ever delivering said service. It’s a shabby thing to do, regardless of the circumstances.
The following are just a small handful of things I had experienced/observed as both an artist and a client.
With that said, here are some reasons why artists don’t finish commissions:
Science Fiction Does Not Require Grace
To be open-minded, in the way we generally define it, requires three things: imagination, empathy, and the willingness to accept you may be wrong. This is true whether you are being asked to accept two women getting married or whether you’re being asked to consider the idea that a sky-god actually did make the world in six days.
The writing of science fiction — the writing of most fiction — only requires imagination. That’s pretty much it.
that “different types of attraction” post that’s been going around bugs the hell out of me, and I think this is why: it presumes humans know exactly what they want. I know, it’s meant to be reductive and simplistic in nature, but I just can’t stomach it. like, what if my experience is merely that a certain person makes me feel squishy and giggly inside and I don’t know why? what if I can’t for the life of me comprehend this feeling?
does it count as “romantic attraction” if I ~*~like someone, but mostly want to hold their hand and co-write academic papers? does it count as “sexual attraction” if I ~*~like someone and cannot currently fathom the idea of sex with them, but think, hey, if our relationship gradually grows into a romantic one over a seven-year period, after that, we should totally do it? I mean, I’ve experienced what I call sexual attraction and romantic attraction without explicitly desiring sex or romance with the person, respectively. what if I don’t know what the fuck it is I want? what if I can’t imagine a certain situation, but think I might want it anyway?
more importantly: why do we care? don’t get me wrong, I jump at the chance to codify most things, but this strikes me as false. the boundaries are too blurry. I can’t explain myself. this is about humans wanting other humans, and I for one don’t want cohesively or plainly or understandably.
things I like about Scully:
- it is an integral part of her character that she follows the rules
- (insofar as the rules do not contradict her personal ethics)
- and she finds it difficult to conceive of not following the rules
- she is consistently rigid and cautious and methodical
- and this proves to be an advantage to her character
- WHICH DOES NOT HAPPEN ON TV
- none of her development hinges on her “loosening up” or learning to be less methodical or learning to cut corners for emotional purposes
- on the contrary, her goddamned strict scientific rationalism saves Mulder time and again, literally and figuratively
- our protagonists are alive because Scully is a fucking goody-two-shoes
I'm tired: is there a shot for that?
Can I talk about one of my handful of medical soapboxes for a minute?
Let’s talk fatigue. The other day a nurse asked me if I thought she needed B12 shots. This nurse is a total stranger to me. I have no way of scanning her blood with my eyes and determining if she’s B12 deficient. So I asked her: why do you think you might need B12? Her reply? “I’m tired all the time. I took some B12 pills and they didn’t give me a boost at all but my friend takes shots and I think that might help.”
Since I’m a nice doctor with loads of time on my hands (*snark*!), I sat her down for a chat. I first explained that B12 replacement is only necessary in people who are deficient in it, and even if your B12 is low, you can usually replace it just fine with pills. (For a great recent article on the B12 shot fetish, check here).
It seems like a lot of people who shop at Amazon believe that the site sells books more cheaply than your neighborhood bookstore out of the goodness of their hearts. Do these people get that Amazon loses money on their book sales? That the site hopes that when you go online to buy the new David Foster Wallace novel, you’ll also buy a tennis racket and barbecue? That’s where Amazon makes their money. And do they get that Amazon doesn’t charge sales tax, and is trying to get out of ever charging it? Are they at all suspect of Amazon’s intense secretiveness regarding sales and profits? Are they at all nervous by the idea of a book monopoly, about a lack of diversity in the book-selling world?
I know affordability is an issue. But sometimes I think we’re so obsessed with getting stuff cheaply that we forget what we’re losing in the long run.
I can understand people buying from a number of different stores and sites. But if you’re going to shop at Amazon and Amazon alone, then get the fuck out of bookstores. Don’t use the bathroom, don’t browse the shelves, and don’t say something rude to the bookseller about how expensive the books are.
(And, on the flip side, a bookstore isn’t a charity case. You go there not to be a good, angelic person, but because you enjoy the experience, the ambiance, the staff recommendations, the hot customers, the way the front table is curated, and the events. There’s value in a bookstore that Amazon can’t offer.)