Before the last letters of his name were pronounced, ancient blond was already turning around. The end of his ponytail slapped his face but he paid no heed to that. His eyes, with all his attention were on the woman he thought he wouldn’t see in a long, long time.

He should have considered the possibility. There was no telling where he would end after all. Or when. Why had he never thought about that happening? Seeing her again - not after he’ll embrace the death, but still in the world of living?

Almost unconsciously he stepped forward to meet her, awkwardly warping his hands around her. He felt guilty and bitter right after. Because wasn’t that what he wanted for a long time? To be able to return home, take his beloved in his hands and live ever happy after?

But that was an illusion wasn’t it? That feeling of having everything back. He would fade away in a few weeks at best leaving her once again. And that was painful, the most cutting reality of his situation – he would see his goal to be in his hand’s reach, but he would never be able to grab it, to achieve it. Not until he’ll find some solution. And he was not even near to finding it.

He tightened his embrace around her, cheek still aflame from Trisha’s quick kiss, hiding his face in her hair. She smelt like home, like he remembered: apples, rain and magnolias.

“I missed you too,” Van whispered in slightly hoarse voice. How long was it for her? She seemed so happy… He cursed himself and hardly for the first time. He was so stupid, so… afraid to make any contact with her back then. He feared that Father, who was on Van’s tail after visit in Central would find Trisha an kids through him. He also was ashamed still of what he was. The absence of Trisha’s reassuring presence really changed him for the worse. So stupid, stupid, stupid…

“I am sorry, Trisha. I am so, so sorry.”

Excuses will never change anything. But it was everything he could offer at the moment.

And… He definitely was not crying.  No way he would, right?