“It was lunchtime at Tumblr. Touching butts had been banned by the evil Headmaster Karp. Suddenly, tumblr user poolantern appeared in the doorway. They knew what she had to do. They grabbed tumblr user vaati’s butt and changed the world. Everyone began to touch each other’s butts. Rodrigo touched Courtney’s butt. Stephen the Zombie touched the butt of that girl with the frosted hair from my art class, I think her name is Kat. Even the horrible Headmaster Karp touched his own butt. Everyone touched each other’s butts and it was great.”