Gallifreyan Traveller
A Parody of “Modern Major General”
Written and Performed by Codot
(Written in honour of Doctor Who’s 50th Anniversary!)

I am the very model of a Gallifreyan Traveller,
I’ve knowledge of the Cybermen, the Daleks and Ambassadors,
I’ve tangoed with the Master more times than I’d care to illustrate,
until the day that he decided he would not regenerate.
I’ve seen the constant war between the Rutans and the Sontarans
and managed several times to avoid skirmishes on Pedalon.
Though it appears that constant trouble’s something I am cursed to face…

Face… face… hmm.. Ah, I’ve got it!

Whilst piloting my TARDIS through the very depths of time and space!

Then I would shout out phrases like “Hurry Up” or “Look Out Below”,
Though personally I prefer “Allons-y” and “Geronimo”!
But still, in matters Cyberman, the Daleks, and Ambassadors,
I am the very model of a Gallifreyan Traveller!

I’ve had my share of companions with whom I’ve been through thick and thin,
Like Ian, Barb, Polly, Jamie, Jo, Sarah Jane and Sullivan,
K-9, Leela, Adric, Nyssa, Tegan, Vislor, Peri too,
Ace, Amazing Grace, Rose, Jack, and Mickey just to name a few, 
Susan, Donna, Martha, Wilfred, Rory Williams, Amy Pond,
The last two made a baby in my TARDIS; her name’s River Song,
Alas many of my companions have been lost throughout the years,

Years… Oh dear…  Got it!

Though Clara Oswald hopefully with stay through all the joys and tears!

I’m fantastic at orating interstellar vernacular,
And writing epic poetry in Gallifreyan Circular,
But still, in matters Cyberman, the Daleks, and Ambassadors,
I am the very model of a Gallifreyan Traveller!

In fact, when I am made aware of the Rani’s shenanigans,
When I know more of Nestenes than the automatic mannequins,
When I can make a sonic screwdriver that opens deadlock seals,
and triplicate the flammability of port, this time for real,
When I can tap a drumming beat in minds like mighty Rassilon,
and steal people’s personas as well as a Chameleon.
In short when I possess the skills of every sentient entity…

Entity? Oh.. bit of a stretch, but…

You’ll say a better Doctor never offered a jelly baby!

And though I know I’m just a show that was made by the BBC,
I’ve brought the love of Doctor Who to all since 1963,
But still, in matters Cyberman, the Daleks, and Ambassadors,
I am the very model of a Gallifreyan Traveller!

Want to download it? It’s right here!