Stephen Colbert
- on pink slime “Yes, LFTB because our beef now has so many hormones it’s a member of the transgendered community.” (“So I just want to get out in front of this and say that I, Stephen Colbert, apologize to any of my transgender bovine viewers that may have been offended.”)
- “That’s why, fellas, always look for the adams apple! That’s a pro tip. Then, look for the adam’s penis”
- “Nation, President Elect, Obama is meeting every day with his transition team, or in beltway lingo, ‘tr***ies’.”
- “But these days, chewing gum is as supple and flamboyant as a Saigon Ladyboy.”
- “Oh, and the next time you’re waltzing with Matilda, you might wanna check out her adam’s apple, ‘cause she’s a dude!”
- “I’m not talking tasteful private ceremonies, I’m talking parades with floats, throbbing disco music, and sh*m**es tying the knot on preschool playgrounds!”
- “Now, I already an advance copy of the Deathly Hallows and Spoiler alert: Hermione’s a dude…”
- “If you ask me, we can’t trust any of these tr***ies.”
- “You see, I didn’t come here to criticize anyone. I came here to praise one man, one Her-man. Important note: a her-man is not the same as a sh*m**e.”
- “Gee, I wonder how a man called “Hilary” became so obsessed with names… …but, what would this limey sh*m**e have us call the war on terror instead?”
- “I believe that “the Man” is keeping the California republicans down. And, being from California, “the Man” is probably a tr***y.”
- “So, was this just a simple case of a panda that was a female and all along was misidentified due to the breed’s ambiguous sexual characteristics, or is the simpler answer that we’ve got a tr***y panda? Now, I never thought I’d give advice to bears, but here you go. Chinese pandas, here’s how you can tell the difference: if you show up to your breeding pen and your lady’s got a an adam’s apple and big paws, get the hell out of there!”
- “Left to their own devices, these brave young souls could fall prey to some very dangerous characters…” cuts to clips of Sex and the City “…by which I mean tr***ies.”
- “Now, we’ve all been fooled by these tr***y reptiles before…You’re out in the desert with a few friends having a few drinks. You see a lizard sunning itself on a rock. You go over to strike up a conversation. The lizards plays it cool, doesn’t respond. So you drink more to fill the awkward pauses. Next thing you know, you’re back at her place and suddenly you realize what you’re caressing isn’t a cloaca, it’s an enlarged femoral pore! And you just get the hell out of there! Or so I have read.”
- “C’mon democratic party. Play along! If your party does not implode, we’ll have to go with our backup scandal. Ed Rendell is a tr***y!” (screen shows photoshopped image of Ed Rendell) “Hello! I thought we were going to put up a picture of Ed Rendell, not this lovely lady right here.”
- “To get this protection these fair-weather-females and fence-sitting-fellas will have to identify themselves. They will no longer shock and confuse young reporters on assignment in a new town who happen to appreciate ladies with big hands.”
- “Oh, you mean the place of Queens…I thought maybe you were gonna reveal something! that perhaps we had a sh*m**e on our hands, here.”
- This tweet
- “But, here’s my biggest problem: this race was for female leatherback turtles. What kind of girl’s name is Billy? Ok. Know what I think, folks? Billy is a dude! A turtle tr***y! You can tell by the size of the flippers. And the adam’s apple. Trust me, I’ve been burned too many times. Evidently, I am not alone. They are a menace! Here’s my theory. While Stephanie and all of the other real gals were actually laying eggs on the beach in their nests, Billy fooled the judges by popping ping-ping balls out of his behind. And now he wants a trophy! Well, your little crying game is up, William! No no no, I demand that race officials verify the sex of this turtle, by checking the concavity of its plastron! Oh yeah, I’ve done my research. I do the same thing to all of my dates. And if that plastron is not concave, I am out of there.”
- Colbert: Is there a difference between male-bodied and male, or female-bodied and female?
Ketchup: Not all people with female bodies identify as women.
Colbert: So, if I meet somebody down there who says they’re a woman—
Ketchup: mmmhmm
Colbert: —I could be in for a rude surprise? Because they may not be female-bodied?
- Colbert: Like What? What? What kind of jobs?
- Cartwright: Like transient farm working jobs.
Colbert: I don’t care what sex they are, as long as the pick my vegetables.
Shit non-mixed people say...and think it's okay
- oreo
- third wheel
- mulatto
- mutt
- you act…
- you don’t count as…
- that’s okay, we don’t consider you a POC (said the white person)
- that cannot be your mom or dad!!!
- What are you?
- (States race/ethnicity) Ohhhh. That explains a lot.
- Which parent is which race/ethnicity?
- In POC neighborhood, “we’ll be safe with you”
- In white neighborhood, “we’ll be safe with you”
now that’s what I call White Heterosexual Allies! featuring all your favourite hits such as
- Imagine How Bad This Would Be If Somebody Did It To A Straight Person
- I Wore A Hijab For A Day And Now I Completely Understand Racism
- Why Can’t I Call You A Faggot?
- White Man Talks About Sexism: Gets 50000 Notes And Job On Morning TV
- The A Stands For Allies!
i know this topic has been run into the goddamn ground but i don’t care, i. do not. care. especially since for some reason nobody ever sits down and listens to what people have to say about it.
YOU DON’T TELL PEOPLE THIS. YOU DO NOT.
A PERSON’S TUMBLR IS NOT YOUR OWN PERSONAL SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT NOT EVERYTHING THEY DO IS TO PLEASE YOU.
YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUSLY INCONSIDERATE OF ANOTHER PERSON’S FEELINGS AND I’M GETTING THE BIGGEST FUCKING DOSE OF SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT FOR THE HUMAN RACE. I DON’T CARE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE COMPLAIN, I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK SOMEONE IS PITIFUL, OR TERRIBLE, OR ANNOYING, OR ANYTHING.
WHAT I DO CARE ABOUT IS PEOPLE SENDING MESSAGES LIKE THIS TO OTHER PEOPLE FOR SIMPLY TALKING ABOUT SHIT GOING ON WITH THEIR LIVES, LIKE THEIR OPINION MATTERS, LIKE IT’S GOING TO CHANGE SHIT. BUT NO, IT’S NOT.
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOUR OPINION IS IN NO WAY AT ALL IMPORTANT TO ANYONE
EXCEPT YOURSELF? CAN YOU REALIZE THAT PLEASE? BECAUSE I’M SICK OF PEOPLE ACTING LIKE THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE REVOLVES AROUND THEM AND THAT GIVES THEM THE RIGHT TO ACT LIKE SOME KIND OF GRAND RULER OF EVERYTHING AND THE ABILITY TO TELL EVERYONE WHAT THEY CAN AND CAN’T DO.
IF SOMEONE WANTS TO COMPLAIN ON THEIR BLOG, THEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY WILL, AND THEY WILL DO SO
WITHOUT HAVING SOME FUCKING
SNOT NOSED, CHILDISH, ASSHOLE OF A PERSON DEGRADE THEM AND PUT THEM DOWN FOR HAVING SOME FUCKING FEELINGS.
DON’T BE A BAG OF SHIT BECAUSE NOBODY’S GOING TO REWARD YOU FOR IT.
Racism Talk
Racial & Ethnic Slurs:
Slurs are exonyms for a particular race or ethnicity. They are pejoratives and are considered offensive due to their etymology or use in a historical context. They rarely come from our own languages & are not wanted as an identifier. Though some ethnic groups argue that “re-claiming” a slur is the best defense against it’s use, many may disagree. There can also be varying opinions within an ethnicity about just how offensive a slur can be.
No matter the etymology of a slur,
No matter an ethnic group’s views on “re-claiming” a slur,
No matter varying opinions on the offensiveness of a slur..
Don’t use it.
Don’t comment on it’s offensiveness if the slur does not apply to you.
Don’t tell people to whom it is applied how they should feel about it’s use.
Don’t tell people to whom it is applied that they should “re-claim” it.
Don’t tell people to whom it is applied that they are being too “sensitive”.
No matter if people tell you they are not offended by a slur,
No matter if you have a “black friend”, “Asian friend”, or a “gypsy friend”,
No matter if you have read this, that, or the other about a slur,
Don’t use it.
Don’t comment on it’s offensiveness if the slur does not apply to you.
Don’t tell people to whom it is applied how they should feel about it’s use.
Don’t tell people to whom it is applied that they should “re-claim” it.
Don’t tell people to whom it is applied that they are being too “sensitive”.
Don’t assume that because a slur is used within a particular ethnic community, that it is ever acceptable for those to whom it does not apply to use it.
Do:
Call people out on using a slur.
Inform people that a particular word is offensive.
Inform people that their speech is racist.
Tell people intent doesn’t matter.
Blatant Racism:
Blatant racism, in actions or speech, occurs when the race or ethnicity of an individual is obvious. People with white-passing privilege do not experience as much blatant racism. That does not mean they do not experience any racism, it just tends to exist more-so when their ethnicity or race becomes apparent.
When people discuss blatant racism that they have experienced,
When they discuss the existence of blatant racism,
When they discuss the notion that society is not post-racial,
When they discuss racism that they have experienced historically,
Don’t trivialize their experiences.
Don’t tell them they are looking for reasons to be angry or to complain.
Don’t tell them they go looking for racism.
Don’t tell them they are just being “negative”.
Don’t tell them that you understand if you truly do not.
Don’t tell them to “get over it”.
Don’t tell them that something was “in the past”.
Do:
Offer an ear to listen.
Validate their experiences.
Call out blatant racism.
Defend someone’s claims of blatant racism.
Subtle Racism
Subtle racism sometimes is only detected by those to whom it applies. It exists in words such as “gypped”, the use of “ghetto” by white Americans, sexualization, subtle race baiting in politics, talk about welfare, Affirmative Action, crime, less obvious stereotyping. It exists in our media and is far more prevalent than many white people realize. It exists in our society and every day lives far more than many white people realize.
When people discuss subtle racism,
When they discuss media and subtle racism,
When they mention race-baiting,
When people discuss stereotyping as it applies to their ethnicity,
When they discuss PoC representation,
When they discuss ethnic “characters”,
When they discuss sexualization.
Don’t trivialize how subtle racism affects them.
Don’t tell them they are being overly sensitive.
Don’t tell them they are reading into it too much.
Don’t tell them that it is “not that bad”.
Don’t tell them that they should not be offended.
Don’t tell people you understand if you truly do not.
Don’t tell them they are looking for reasons to complain.
Do:
Offer an ear to listen.
Call out subtle racism when you recognize it.
Validate their claims of subtle racism.
Respect that it does have a real impact on PoC ethnic groups.
Institutionalized Racism:
Still exists.
It exists in our education system. It exists when an individual’s personal racism has an affect on someone’s ability to get a job, get into college, get a bank loan. It is evident in the current statistics regarding American PoC, un-employment rates, homelessness, education levels, incarceration rates. It is still a very real form of racism that exists in America & Europe, among other places.
When people discuss institutionalized racism,
When they discuss how it affects them,
When they discuss racism in education,
When they discuss racism in the workplace,
When they suggest racism is why they did not get hired for a job,
Don’t trivialize their claims of institutionalized racism.
Don’t tell them they are being overly dramatic.
Don’t tell them they are looking for reasons to be angry.
Don’t tell them they are making excuses.
Don’t tell them we live in a post-racial society.
Don’t down play the achievements of PoC.
Do:
Listen & learn.
Educate yourself about the issue.
Recognize that it exists.
Validate claims of institutionalized racism.
Speak out against institutionalized racism.
Reverse Racism:
Does not exist.
Don’t use “reverse racism” to silence PoC who call you out on racist words or actions.
Don’t equate instances of bullying to racism, though bullying is never acceptable no matter the context.
Don’t say whatever you are about to say about “reverse racism” because we have already heard it all.
Know Your Privilege:
About Me:
I am a white-passing Romani woman.
I am straight.
I am the descendant of slaves.
I am the descendant of refugees.
I was poor during my childhood.
I have various serious health issues.
I have a long family history of generational poverty: on both sides of my family.
I am now middle class.
I am the first woman on one side of my family to graduate high school.
I have limited experience with blatant, in person racism.
I have much experience with racist cyber-bullying, racist comments, slurs, racism trivialization & ethnic sexualization.
I pass as white & do not know what life is like in dark skin.
I pass as white & therefore I have no personal experiences with institutionalized racism, though I am full well aware of how it does affect my ethnicity.
Know your own privileges & when your opinions are applicable or relevant.
Racism Talk:
Know when it is appropriate & inappropriate to offer your opinions on these issues.
Never trivialize racism.
Always call out racist words and actions.
If you are white, listen & learn about the real impacts of racism in today’s society and not just in a historical context.
Educate yourself.
Realize that we don’t owe you explanations about racism.
Realize that we have a right to be angry when you do or say something racist.
Realize that intent doesn’t matter: racism is racism & slurs are always hurtful.
To learn more & read more in-depth about racism, stereotyping & privilege, visit Racism School.
