“You have a perfect body. That’s your cross to bear. Mine’s that I’m a lady in the street and a freak in the bed.”
—If you’re not watching Suburgatory, you really should be.
“A decade-plus past its prime, The Simpsons has a stronger presence in American life than Cheers, Seinfeld, Community, or any other sitcom you can think of. Since Matt Groening’s show debuted in 1988, not a week has gone by that I haven’t thought about it, quoted it, or heard someone else quote it. The writing staff’s vacuum cleaner has ingested so much data and imagery that it’s hard for a fan to think about a significant TV show, movie, play, musical, painting, song, fairy tale, myth, or historical incident without remembering how The Simpsons made fun of it. Cheers is a flawless pearl glinting on a beach. But The Simpsons is the beach. It’s bigger than Cheers, bigger than sitcoms, in some ways bigger than television. It’s our virtual Smithsonian and Library of Congress, our collective data cloud, the Force, or Farce, that surrounds us, binds us, and holds the galaxy together. The Simpsons losing the Vulture comedy bracket? That’s unpossible.”
—Matt Zoller Seitz declaring ‘The Simpsons’ as the winner of Vulture’s Best Sitcom of the Last 30 Years Tournament
Sitcom Horoscopes
Which character in a sitcom are you?
Aries – You’re the male slut. Deep down you have a good heart and are a great friend, but you can be a womanizing douche bag to everyone else.
Taurus – You’re the married woman. You’re the one who has or finds your soul mate and is all about making babies. You tend to be a really good cook, too.
Gemini – You’re the free-spirit. You add a touch of weirdness to the show. When writers want someone to say a random line, it usually goes to you, lucky.
Cancer – You’re the token gay. Even on a show where there are multiple homosexuals, there is somehow still a token gay. Writers love giving you all the sassy things to say because coming from anyone else would just be awkward.
Leo – You’re the one who got away. You show up every so often after having a very intense relationship with one of the main people on the show. You’re used to add drama and drive any plot forward.
Virgo – You’re the married man. You are very doting and very much a goofball. You sometimes go along with Taurus’ crazy schemes, but sometimes you do put your foot down.
Libra – You’re the object of affection. You’re the lady all the dudes in your circle of friends wants at one point or another. Your ability to stay friends with so many ex-hookups is amazing.
Scorpio – You’re the hopeless romantic male. You’re kind of a proposal slut, and you have the most dramatic story lines.
Sagittarius – You’re the odd neighbour. You enter without knocking and spend more time at your neighbour’s apartment than your own. You’re an instigator of many situations, but you are mostly comic relief. You give purpose to the show.
Capricorn – You’re the boss. You show up when the main people actually go to work. It’s odd how often they don’t go to work.
Aquarius – You’re the pregnant lady. You’re the one who actually gets knocked up as opposed to the one who wants to get knocked up getting knocked up because someone has to get knocked up, and it’s just more entertaining this way.
Pisces – You’re the girlfriend. You’re the random strange who is standing in the way of the two leads falling in love. The audience is just waiting for you to be dumped. Even though you are always the nicest person.
