Big surprise, Michelle Obama gets her DNA tested and finds distant white relatives descendent from the Plantation that owned her family. But of course, the New York Times posts an article about how hard it is for the relatives to deal with the fact that they’re decedent from slave owners. 

The best part is where they try to assume that the relationship HAD to be consensual:

Melvinia was a teenager, perhaps around 15, when she gave birth to her biracial son. Charles was about 20.

Such forbidden liaisons across the racial divide inevitably bring to mind the story of Thomas Jefferson and his slave Sally Hemings.

I love it when slavery is painted to be some kind of southern love story. 

Melvinia was not a privileged house slave like Sally. She was illiterate and no stranger to laboring in the fields. She had more biracial children after the Civil War, giving some of the white Shieldses hope that her relationship with Charles was consensual.

or that she was forced to have sex with the men of the plantation over and over…

The rest of the article just goes into how sad the family is to learn that they used to own slaves and how they *hope* their great grandfather wasn’t a rapist.