benderstuck yes im going to make this a thing im actually kidding guys send help im making too many AUs and i cant stop NO I DONT REGRET ANYTHING
anyway
dirk is a metal bender—used to be part of the police force but got kicked out foR SOME REASON HMMMM HOW MYSTERIOUSSHGDUGh and now he works as a mechanic
then theres jade who is an earth bender from ba sing se and is kind of traveling around because she fucking can SHUT UP
rose is a nonbender ninja elite warrior person who is also a chi blocker and can stab needles in your eyes
roxy is a firebender who used to probend but she quit due to an injury
dave is a firebender too and he works at a factory to help support him and dirk yep he also cant deal with dirks weird habits sometimes
jane is a waterbender from the north pole and has remarkable healing powers!!
jake is a nonbender who is basically a dumbass and is a traveller and goes around collecting artifacts and the like in this bag of his that apparently never runs out of space and he always has food in it its really weird oh and he also uses guns
john is an airbender from air temple island but he acts nothing like an air nomad and doesnt go by their customs at all and he often sneaks out to republic city for fun and tries to probend but hes not allowed because thERE ARE NO AIRBENDERS IN IT
Look I know Jack's good at a lot of things and some of you think he's like perfection but
think of the things he CAN’T do or shouldnt like
- get a tan, ever
- summon satan
- stop being a douche canoe
- not be a lanky bean stalk
- not be creepy as fuck aka waTCHING PEOPLE SLEEP
- that snow that just blew right in your face 100 mph was him watching redtube
- breaks into people’s homes without their permission
- That boulder sized snow on your car you discovered twenty minutes before you need to make a one hour commute to work otherwise your boss will fire you for being late to work and you won’t be able to feed your kids because you’re poor and jobless? Jack
- he thinks he’s super funny bUT HE’S NOT HE’S JUST A DICK
- he thinks everyone wants the D
- did I mention he’s a dick
- more to come in the future
actually when I fantasize about meeting ZQ, it’s not even like meeting in a bar or on the street or any of my normal meet a celeb fantasies
no, I want to meet him at a professional function or a fundraiser or something when I’m semi-successful in some sort of activism
so I can be all “Hello Mr Zachary Quinto, I quite like your acting work and your activist work and your coming out inspired me to new heights oh ho ho”
and he will be all “Yes, Laura Majors, I quite like your work as well, let us collaborate and slowly become friends”
like he’ll get my name wrong and I won’t even care
