I just wonder,

when we make lists of what we’ll accept in a partner and what we won’t, why are we doing it? I’ve heard and am now realizing there are lots of reasons why people do this. 

I just heard two guys talking about girls’ bodies, what they like and don’t like and what they want in their future wives. Lol I don’t think physical traits should be too much of a requirement when it comes to marriage but that’s just me.

There are different lines to cross in this topic. Are they discussing their opinions on what’s attractive and what’s not or are they being shallow? Will the toned abs of their partner deeply affect their relationship or are they subconsciously being picky to keep people out? Are they exploring what they find attractive and unattractive (things we can usually compromise on) or are they setting the bar really high because deep down they’re trying to keep people out/are afraid of getting hurt/don’t think they truly deserve to be loved…..

I heard that people who have long lists of requirements for their future partners (tall, muscular, makes more than x amount of money, drives a bmw, etc.) are commitment phobic. We’re all scared of getting hurt, we all keep our guard up when we first meet people, but if after a while you’re not allowing yourself to develop a relationship with someone ‘cause their biceps are too small or they chew their food weirdly or you don’t like their car, you might have a problem.

Basically, the conversation I had the displeasure of witnessing (no offense to those guys lol) got me thinking again about how we all could be a bit more accepting. Like if you want someone to love and accept you 100%, flaws included, you need to be willing to do the same. I guess I can kind of understand talking about who/what you find attractive and who you don’t, but when you let it spill over into who you’d be with and who you wouldn’t and you’re still basing it off physical traits, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Do you want someone to look at you and say “nah, I don’t wanna be with him/her, this that and the other thing are all wrong with them” before you even open your mouth? 

Don’t you wanna be in a relationship where you open up to someone and let them into your world and show them every aspect of your past, present and future and they just give a big hug to all your quirks and flaws? ‘Cause that’s not gonna happen if you’re not willing to do the same for someone.

We should all just look at the big picture here. Appearances change all the time, those of us who make it to old age will not have the same 25 year old bodies we once had. Try to let people in your life because they want to be there. Try to give your love, respect and attention to people who have earned it. Try not to shut people out because of petty little things that will probably change more than once…

Everyone is beautiful regardless of what people say about them. Your best match might not be your most obvious match. Step outside of your comfort zone and you might just find someone who makes you truly comfortable :)