Very few times in my life have I ever felt pretty.
I constantly compare myself to others. I know I shouldn’t care so much about my appearance and how others perceive me, but that doesn’t stop my mind form pointing out all my flaws against everyone else’s perfections. I see so many pretty girls everyday, it seems so effortless for them, and here I am…struggling to pass as average.
I wanted to have a little chat with you all about body perception
I’ve been seeing a post going around of late of the ANTM winner Whitney going around with people saying ‘but my measurements are smaller than hers and she’s slimmer than me’. These girls are making a few big mistakes. What these girls aren’t doing is taking into account the whole array of things before we even get to the issue of self perception. So lets break it down.
First, before we even look at how much she weighs or what her measurements are…we need to consider her height. Someone who is taller than you, will generally look slimmer at a higher weight than you, this is becuase their weight has a larger area to be dispersed on the body. Going back to the example of Whitney, first off she is 5’10. Now thats a lot taller than most girls I know…in fact…I think in my personal experience I’ve only ever met two other girls that tall! The average female is around 5’3-5’6 in height…so she’s already significantly taller, which GREATLY affects how her body holds its weight. Comparing yourself to someone who is significantly taller than you in the weight loss stakes is setting yourself up to fail.
Secondly, we need to take into account her body composition: ie how much muscle she has in comparison to how much fat. Ladies, this is where the scale can become decieving. Yes muscle and fat weigh the same.However, muscle takes up less mass than fat, therefore one gram of muscle is smaller/slimmer than 1 gram of muscle. I watched the series that Whitney was in as well as seen her most recent photos and that girl is packing some serious muscle definition. The more muscle mass we have, the less fat mass we have (as muscle assists in the continous burning of fat) and therefore the slimmer we look. I get so personally frustrated when I see girls who have a high body fat percentage merely focusing on weight loss with methods that don’t promote muscle growth. Look at Miranda Kerr…muscle is out friend. Its not just about a number, its also about the composition of that number.
Thirdly, when looking at her measurements we need to take into account the above two factors. Why? Because the taller we are, the more surface area our bodies have to play with to distribute fat/muscle and the higher the muscle percentage the slimmer a person generally is as a rule of thumb. Her measurements are a reflection of the above two things.
Now on self perception, I’d like to refer to an episode of Carson’s ‘How to Look Good Naked’ which I once watched. They had a woman who was a size US 12 on there. They took her into a room where a lined of 8 women were all lined up and she was told to place herself in order of biggest to smallest. She put herself as the second biggest. She was actually the second smallest. This is an example of how our perception of our own bodies in relation to others is skewed. When we look in the mirror, we don’t see the image of ourselves as we actually are. We see it as if someone has thrown a glass of water over it…the image is distorted and not a true representation of how we are.
And so now I ask you, if we cannot even view our own bodies correctly, how is comparing ourselves to others any better?
Don’t compare yourselves to others ladies. We are all different and our bodies are different. Focus on what you have and how you can improve that instead up putting yourself beside others as a comparison. Why? Because there is no comparison to you. We are all made as unique beings. No ones body is the same as ours, so stop trying to compare yourselves to something you will never be.
Work towards loving your body, love yourself and working towards a better you.
four hundred and forty four: thirty in thirty
I am one of those people who doesn’t know what she looks like.
My reflection scares me sometimes,
I imagine my face completely different.
Growing up, I used to think the skin I couldn’t see
was white and only my hands were brown.
It’s not this way. Once as a joke I wrapped my arm
below my never-seen-the-sun breasts
to look at how much I had changed.
There are reminders of what I could have been,
my pale tender palms
in my life everything I touch has been smooth
but my dark lips, I get a canker sore every month,
tonguing the bitter pain hurt till it feels good
cherry red lipstick so even air kisses taste good
I wore white face once, beige foundation
which becomes white the moment you smear it
on brown skin, did you know that?
This is what I would look like if I was different
even I don’t believe it
do you know that bronze is only third place
and bronzer is only used to highlight
not the whole face, just in the cheekbones.
I asked my friend for an entire month about my cheekbones
if they were okay, if I used my makeup
to make myself right
and she didn’t know what I meant
there is a running list of women I am never going to look like
no matter the winged eyeliner:
there is a doppelganger app
and I felt so silly hoping I would see my own face
in one of the generated celebrities
with open-lipped smiles.
There was a boy who told me he saw my eyebrows on someone else
he meant the raising
the way I talk when I can’t see how I’m talking,
but I am not like this
my eyebrows happen from the lady who does them.
I should be proud of my crooked teeth smile
even after braces, I retain nothing
I am myself again
except, I heard once I was unconventionally beautiful
and I wanted to know what it meant
to be conventionally beautiful
if this is a compliment, it doesn’t feel like it.
There is a five second spilt reality between
what I want to see and what I see in any mirror,
one time I drew a self portrait and it was wrong:
I grew up smiling too much,
now everyone finds my dimples a surprise.