Building Healthy Self-Esteem
There are many benefits associated with having good self-esteem—feeling good, taking up appropriate challenges, relating to people as equals and feeling relaxed in daily life situations. Good self-esteem isn’t something that you can achieve overnight. You need to work on it over time. This is particularly important in situations where you’re faced with setbacks or difficulties. Here are a few ways that you can build and maintain healthy self-esteem:
Accept yourself. Every one of us has faults and weaknesses—this is part of being human. The key to good self-esteem is self-acceptance. This means accepting yourself as you are without condemning yourself for your perceived shortcomings.
Avoid labeling yourself. When you don’t reach a goal or perform as well as you hoped, it’s easy to label yourself as”bad” in some way. For example, you might say things like I’m an idiot. This is a form of labeling. Labeling yourself is a negative way of thinking, because it relies on an over-generalization. Each person is a complex mixture of characteristics, traits, qualities and behaviors, and no one—including you—can be summed up by just one trait. Labeling simply makes you feel bad about yourself, and serves no useful purpose.
Recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Having healthy self-esteem means that you are able to feel good about yourself even though you’re not perfect. You can be aware of your strengths and still acknowledge your weaknesses without judging yourself. Many people are too aware of their weaknesses, but ignore their strengths and good qualities. For this reason, it can be helpful to spend some time thinking about all the positive qualities that you take for granted. It might be helpful to make a list of your strengths and weaknesses you’d like to improve upon.
Set goals. Although it’s important to practice self-acceptance, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t aim to improve some things about yourself or your life. Sometimes it’s helpful to set goals for things that you’d like to achieve, or to change things that you aren’t happy with. For example, if you don’t feel comfortable in some social situations, it might be useful to work on your communication skills and taking more social risks. While it’s often very helpful to set meaningful goals, it’s also important to maintain a flexible attitude. This means accepting yourself whether or not you achieve your goals.
Avoid comparisons. Some people are in the habit of comparing themselves to others. They judge themselves on things like their looks, their grades, their friends, their achievements and even their personality. There will always be people who seem to be doing better than you are, and if you compare yourself to them, you’ll end up always feeling unsatisfied with yourself. The reality is that people have different strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your strengths, have realistic expectations of the things that you could change or improve, and most importantly, avoid comparing yourself to others.
"I am not good enough"
We’ve all thought this at one time or another. Especially in our socially connected world where we have constant reminders of everyone else’s achievements, it’s easy to feel we don’t stack up.
But maybe we don’t have to. Maybe we don’t need to be better than anyone else, or even better than we are now to make a difference.
Maybe the world needs us exactly as we are, with our unique blend of skills, talent, and potential. Maybe the difference we make isn’t just about where we end up, but also how we learn, grow, and share on the way there.
Sure, our gifts and accomplishments can make the world a better place, but what we really want and need is to be inspired—and what’s more inspiring than starting right where you are, believing in yourself, and taking a leap of faith?
When we’re feeling overwhelmed, it can seem like dreams are luxuries, but they’re not reserved for the chosen few. They’re reserved for people who choose to believe in them and act on it.
To do that, we need to stop telling ourselves the story of why we can’t, and start creating the story of how we can.
What’s your dream, and what can you do today to start living it?
Appreciate or Change the Game Instead of Blaming It
Article from tinybuddha.com
“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield
Imagine these three scenarios:
Scenario 1: You wake up in the middle of the night and your baby is crying. You feel annoyed that you have to wake up in the middle of your sleep.
Scenario 2: Your goal is to finish your first marathon, so you have to practice consistently. However, you don’t feel like exercising today. It’s raining and you’d like to watch television instead.
Scenario 3: You hate your job. You snap at your boss and you procrastinate on the work you are supposed to do.
What do these scenarios have in common? If you haven’t figured it out yet, then keep reading.
IT’S ABOUT YOU, NOT ABOUT THEMThese three seemingly different scenarios have one thing in common: You are blaming the game even though you made a decision to play it.
In many of these situations, we jump in without really knowing what we are dealing with.
When we jump into situations with wrong expectations, it creates wrong attitudes. We expect things to follow a certain path, but the reality is different. And when the reality and our attitudes collide, it’s natural that we feel frustration.
