School for Formula 1 fandom.

Why can’t this exist.

Just think.

We would be sorted by our team preferences. 

BUT ALL FRIENDS.

And we would even have annoying motherfucking creepy headmaster Mr Ecclestone.

(he could teach STYLE as well)

SUBJECTS WOULD BE:

• history… OF F1 IN GENERAL, TEAMS, CARS, GP, TRACKS ETC.
• geography… of countries where circuits are located and also about home towns of teams.
• english/spanish/german/whatever
• biology… of driver’s body an all that happens to human body during very physically demanding 2 hours long racing.
• health and social care… ABOUT DRIVERS.
• design and physics… A clone of Mr Newey could teach us.
• economics… MASTER BERNIE WOULD BE USEFUL HERE.
• PE… we would exercise like drivers do and also go-kart. A physio would take care of us. Then also practising our skills on simulator.
• media and communication… Drivers’ press officers like Seb’s Britta Roeske’s lectures for example.
• psychology… How to mindfuck press and also teaching us excellent let-outs and… Mr Boullier or Mr Domenicali could help us with this.
• Pirelli studies!
• arts… WE WOULD SEW. Why not. And be taught how to avoid creating anything even similar to Hugo Boss hideous overalls.

And our school uniforms would be from team collection. Don’t need to mention that sunglasses are obviously part of our uniforms as well (also weird shorts are allowed).

In canteen we would drink champagne from throphies.

Or from our caps.

And eat pasta.

And cakes.

Or ice cream.

Rooms in shapes of various circuits.

MOST IMPORTANT: School trips would be attending Grand Prix.

Red Bull Racing would take care of energy drinks. And umbrellas. Because they have large pretty umbrellas.

Vodafone McLaren Mercedes would pay our mobile bills.

Scuderia Ferrari would manage school supplies because their merchandise contains so many various things from this field.

GO HOME AFTER SCHOOL?

I WOULDN’T BE WILLING TO EVER LEAVE IT FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.