Jealous

Sam is so perfect in my parents eyes. It’s such bullshit. Constantly. She wrote a play. She has stared so many I cant even count them. She has several friends who love and Cherish her. Sam has a boyfriend who lives close by that mom approves of. SHE’S THIN.  My own grandmother subtly told me I was getting bigger. Sam is organized. Sam is pretty. Sam is leaving this damn town. I feel like I have so many faults it hurts. I cry every night. Not even my best friends know that. Katrina tells me I’m so talented and perfect. It cheers me up, but I don’t think i’m that talented to be frank. I hate ranting like this but i have to let this go. Sobbing. Ugh I’m luch a child.

Isaac makes me feel good. At home. At peace.

He lives a whole state away, but he says I’m his perfect girl. Nerdy, sexy, his. Perfect.

I need to stop beating myself up all the time.