Saint Pattie's Day

So today I get up to make myself some coffee and I walk into the kitchen and I see my dad at the counter looking me in the eye and I stare at him looking all confused and he asks “do you know what day it is?” and I look at him again aND I SEE HE HAS A GODDAMN GREEN PIECE OF PLASTIC STUCK TO HIS SHIRT AND HE LUNGES AT ME SO I GRAB THE CLOSEST GREEN THING I SEE AND TAPE IT TO MY STOMACH BEFORE HE CAN PINCH ME

and now he’s just complaining about how pissed he is cuz he’d been planning this for days and now he has to wait til next year

jesus christ this holiday tears families apart