- Inbox: *lights up*
- Me: Oh, yay! *opens messages*
- Me: Wait...what. There's nothing here?
- Inbox: Please, madame, no message here
- Inbox: As God's my witness, there is nothing new to post
- Inbox: Please, madame, there's nothing there
- Inbox: Or if there was, well then
- Inbox: IT MUST BE A GHOST
- Me:
- Me: YOU DECEIVED ME
Prayer for the prey
Another nameless bullet takes a faceless future,
We mourn what was born in a chaotic catechism,
It’s senseless,
When incentives for killin sound more appealin then livin,
a lifestyle portrayed as unattainable, fuels the slayin of the youth,
Sell a couple rocks to be a mountain in the streets,
Spit a couple bars about being behind bars to become a hierarchy in the street pedigree,
The juxtaposition of innocent murders,
my humanity weeps,
Another nameless bullet,
Killin another unspoken Dream.
Call me a
bit sentimental,
but I honestly miss her already.
Page Not Found
makes my stomach clench,
that I can no longer swim through her words.
It sort of feels like drowning.
Where did she go?
Can I search for her
beneath train tracks?
There is no chance,
she is up up and away.
Magnificent morbid angel.
J.R Morgan
January 3, 2012
*I just had to post something about Noelle’s (amoralfictionalism) absence. She will be oh so missed <3 UNTIL SHE COMES BACK… positive thinking *fingers crossed.
Pierce Brosnan, “Shocked And Saddened” By The Riots In England : http://newish.info/16710-pierce-brosnan-shocked-and-saddened-by-the-riots-in-england
You might not know it, but you'll be remembered
It was just for a moment, perhaps a second or two, but I could really feel my chest tighten up after seeing the news in front of me. Perhaps it sounds a little melodramatic, but I couldn’t help feeling at least a little saddened when I saw that one of my favourite bloggers had deactivated their account. I can’t say I really knew them, but we did chat a little, a few messages here and there. I know our online life is ever changing, but I guess some people you just expect to be around forever.
I suppose beautiful people leave beautiful marks.
Don’t speak
I’ve had enough of your lies
You’re to quick to decieve
Look at yourself
See what you have become
Don’t speak
This is my time to impart
Your words are harsh
My heart cannot take another poisonous word
Leave my sight before I break
Don’t speak
Just leave
Your chicanery isn’t needed here
I crave to be alone
Away from your dishonesty
Go play your games far away
Someplace where you won’t break my heart
Please, don’t speak
This Is childish!
Basically today I had to deal with an interesting situation due to KSA. So KSA has to events coming up. First, we have a Yogurtopia frozen yogurt fundraiser. This one I wasn’t sure to have because FSA just had one. But we really need the money to support our second event so I said whatever let’s do it. Second, we are having a Korean BBQ Pool Party. This is a fundraiser social just cuz its middle of summer and it is a good opportunity to do something. We all got together and planned these events and have them all set up and started promoting them last night and whatnot.
Now a problem arises. Today I was informed that supposedly FSA was going to have a pool party on the same day but they hadn’t gotten the venue yet. And VASA is having a carwash the same day.
Ok. The carwash isn’t really a big deal because it is from 11-2 and the bbq is from 11-5. Its not like people can’t go to both and most wont show up to the BBQ until later in the afternoon. So its really not a big deal. But I guess they think it is because they posted on the BBQ Facebook event page that they dislike the event. NOT GOOD FOR KSA PROMOTIONS and it certainly does not make VASA look good. But its whatever cuz the comments got taken down.
Now FSA is another story. I got a call today about how FSA was going to throw a pool party on the same day as us but now they aren’t because KSA planned theirs and how they were planning a dodgeball tournament but we already mentioned that we were going to have one in our BBQ event and lastly that we are throwing a froyo social which is the same thing FSA did.
The first thing that frustrates me is that KSA is not good enough to come up with ideas like these and that the only way we could is to mooch off another club. The second thing that frustrates me is that people are being disrespectful when we are all suppose to support each other. I just find the whole situation and the way that people acted upon it to be completely frustrating. Honestly, if I had known that FSA was doing something that day I would have let them do it. What is the point of trying to create beef? That makes no sense. I like FSA. But the fact of the matter is that KSA came up with an event, scheduled it, and got it up and running without any thought or regard to FSA or any other club because that is not KSA’s concern. KSA is just trying to promote themselves and have a good time. There is not one club that is superior to others, so events and everything else is fair game. That is all. So, when FSA also wrote on the BBQ wall, it didn’t look good for them.
So, in order to clear things up I deleted the comments made on the event as to not make the other orgs look bad as well as to not negatively promote KSA. And instead of venting elsewhere I vented here where its not as public. I honestly hope, though, that this kind of attitude or problem doesn’t happen again.
If I could I would lay in bed with you and scratch your back one more time. I would tell you my feelings, even if my mind said no. I would reassure you of your worries. I would let you know that everything will, matter fact, be okay. I would tell you I love you one last time. I would give you my world and let you know that you have it. Cuddle up next to you and the warmth of your bear skin. Feel safe one last time in your arms. Sit in your fathers truck in front of my house for hours just talking and steeling a kiss every time my dad was looking the other way. sit outside on your porch on your lap smoking a cigarette, talking, laughing, kissing. In the garage working on the Firebird, smoking and messing around. Riding around in the “way too loud, but don’t want to get a muffler” Firebird. Driving around town going to the high school parking lot to drift and do donuts, Smiles on both our faces. Our car. Messing with the dogs, mainly Dodge. Eating slightly unforgivable foods. laying down and messing with each other’s belly buttons. Have our random hyper moments, when we would let go of all problems in the world. Watching the time so we never were too late to get me home. Our arguments, our fights, I look back on them and we both were fighting about and for the same thing the entire time. You made/make me feel oh so beautiful, but your gone… I’m nothing, I’m the ugly girl, the freak, the unimportant one. You make me feel on top of the world.
Dad went to the post office, I was sitting in the car, somehow convinced that I was going to get a letter coming from the prison.. dad got back, No letter… I kept checking.. thinking that maybe, just maybe we kept passing over your letter, not realizing it was right there.. Nothing, no letter, no more and all because I lied.. Why did I? now that I think about it, I had a stupid reason.. “if you lie you don’t deserve anyone” keeps running through my head. Is it true? is it, that I don’t deserve anyone? I promised he would be my last, I promised I could never move on, Promised I would always love him. I’m never going to break those promises. I just want you back, I hate not hearing from you. My life is on pause because I have no one. I need you as much as you need me. It kills me when I talk to your father and he says your good.. Maybe its because you’re busy with your classes, probably not enough time to dwell on anything.. and here I am, not able to truly convince myself of putting something else on my mind. I stay home alone because I don’t want to make others worry about me. I think about you 24/7 and I doubt you even realize that. Doubt you realize how much I miss you. How much I need you. How much you mean to me. I’m broken and its my fault. I doubt there could be anything that could change this… I need to be held, cared for, listened to… I need to be loved.. Only problem is I, myself, only want all of that from you… when I need it from almost anyone….The war behind my mind, heart, and body… There’s people I could love, truly love, people I probably should give a chance to, My heart wont give in tho, my mind is lost, my body hates this. Broken hearted and maybe will never be a way of mending it all back together.
I love you Richie.
