I just want to write this down because I want to look back and remember this feeling of complete happiness.

When you’re no longer nervous to be in front of 500+ people who are focusing exclusively on you, it is an out of body experience. To walk in a runway show and feel that is such a selfless feeling. It is incredible to be able to displace yourself from your own fear to showcase the hard work of someone else the best you can. Runway modeling is not about you, even though it may seem to be with all the fittings, the training, and the hair and makeup. It is about how you portray someone else’s child, so to speak. You are literally wearing their heart and soul and putting it on view for an audience.

To listen to hundreds of people cheer louder than for any other model when you throw down your dress’s 6-foot train and walk with every fierce nerve in your body is unreal. To be one with the runway, not noticing the people or the flashbulbs of cameras or the video cameras, is unreal. To watch your designer wipe away tears when you step off the runway is unreal. To be told by dozens of other agency-represented beautiful models that you looked gorgeous and that you did a stand-out job is unreal. The whole experience is like something out of someone else’s life.

There is not a single person in the world that could make me believe that I am not beautiful, or that I am not talented, or that I do not deserve the success I’ve worked so hard to achieve tonight. I am so proud of myself, and for my friends to tell me how proud they are of me means more to me than they’ll ever know. I’m relieved that people who don’t understand this feeling are not writing me off as someone who’s bragging a little too much about their 5 minutes of fame. Because although it may be 5 minutes of fame, it’s a lifetime of respect I’ve gained for myself, and that is more important than anyone’s negativity towards me could ever be.

This is a Squidoo Page a fan wrote for me. Thanks!!

people that pretend to model really annoy me.

you dont get “offered” to model by companies. YOU have to apply for it. like a job. and the work is like a job too. it’s not easy shit and it’s one of the most competitive industries out there! unless you’re widely known, like your mom is heidi klum, then you are never getting offered a modeling job ever in your life.