• mom: wake up
  • me: *maybe if I pretend i'm dead she'll go away*

do you ever just read something so ridiculous in a fic that you physically

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Simon says stop unfollowing me

MY LADY AND BABY DON'T CRY WILL BE ON EXO XOXO ALBUM

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i put the sass in assassinate 

do you ever start realizing you’re the only person in a friendship making effort to communicate so you stop making the effort and realize your friendship falls apart and you never talk anymore and you’re just like wOW OK THEN I JUST WONT TALK TO YOU
but then you think of sometthing really funny and you want to tell them and you’re like
NO. DON’T. LET THEM MAKE THE EFFORT. DON’T GO THERE.

it’s gotten to the point where corn and com look the same

I coded my patient and transferred her to ICU. When I returned one of my patients complained they had been waiting 30 minutes for ice chips.

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