Resiliency: the ability to bounce back
This was the Giant’s intro to the 42nd Superbowl. Resiliency. That is probably one of my favorite words.
I often talk about how much I despise the human race. About all of the times that people have failed me or broke my trust. But really, how can someone hate something as beautiful as humankind?
Human beings are the most complex species known to mankind. Our intricacy has created social and emotional obstacles that everyone has to deal with in life. The amazing part of it all is how we are able, no only to deal with it, but to overcome it. Someone could be hit with something so emotionally damaging, yet they can all recover. We are all resilient. It still astounds me when I hear a story about someone that can continue to live their life after hitting rock bottom, whether its because of depression, addiction, rape, loss of a loved one, etc.
Resiliency. Its definitely something that should be appreciated. When you think about it, its almost like a super power; an ability to overcome any obstacle. What a beautiful gift.
“So my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: 'Is this person in between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you're in charge, don't hire the people who were jerky to you.”—Tina Fey, Bossypants
Words of Wisdom
On Thursday, my cousin, Maureen,
is leaving Los Angeles to start a new beginning in Portland, Oregon, and I’m happy but also quite sad. Los Angeles is losing one of its best humans, as Maureen is one of the best human beings I’ve ever met. Seriously, I don’t say that flagrantly: she is absolutely incredible. Aside from being beautiful inside and out, she’s dedicated her life to working with Autistic Children as an Occupational Therapist, and I admire and respect her more than words can say. Even though Maureen is moving to Portland, and Portland is fairly close, it’ll be more difficult for us to get together now and have a drink and chew the spit about life and love and our careers; but I’m still really happy for her. Portland is incredible, and I know she’ll make a fabulous life for herself there, as she’s always done wherever she’s lived. A few weeks back, Maureen and I had a really good chat about our futures, and I wanted to write about it because the conversation really left a deep impression on me.
Since we were little, Maureen has always had a very intuitive, almost psychic nature. She’s borderline Dionne Warwick, ok? Similarly, a lot of the women in my family (and life) have a similar way about them, as most of them are borderline psychic or at the very least very intuitive about people and situations. Speaking from a place of intuition and wisdom, Maureen gave me some remarkable, very personalized advice, and I always take Maureen’s words of wisdom to heart because they are always rooted in the solid foundation of selfless love and truth. At the end of our conversation, a few things really stuck out to me.
One thing that really meant a lot to me was Maureen’s encouragement of my writing. She told me that she was really impressed by my writing and really proud of me and that she thinks I’ll have a very successful career in writing. It really wasn’t something Maureen had to say, so I was beyond grateful and flattered and since she’s borderline Dionne Warwick-status, I’m gonna take her psychic word for it.
It also meant a lot because some people in my nuclear family haven’t always been particularly supportive of my writing, since it doesn’t “make money” for me. Not to say that it won’t support me at some point; but my family is very traditional and they believe that efforts should be placed in avenues which will yield a quick return. For example, whenever I told my mother that I wanted to be an “artist” as a little boy, she would say, “artists always struggle and never have any money, and you don’t want to live like that.” There is a basis of truth to that, but doing what you love is invaluable. Since writing is something I love to do, I don’t place high expectations on making money off of it, but if at some point in the future, I were to be making megabucks off of my writing, I would love it.
The other interesting thing that really stuck out to me was Maureen’s words of wisdom on my love life. Since we’re first cousins, Maureen and I have a really special bond that I don’t share with a lot of people so closely, genetically related to me. In her high school years, Maureen moved from Washington to L.A. to live with me and my family, and the experience brought us even closer than we already were.
Over the course of our time together, Maureen has seen several people come and go out of my life. Commenting on this, Maureen talked to me about how lucky I am to have developed this really close, incredible network of friends for myself. She told me that people “don’t have friends” like I do, since all my friends are gifted, intelligent, generous, amazing human beings. She said, “you always attract the highest quality of people in terms of your friends. You exude a confidence and energy that draws these really amazing people into your life. And you have this aura about you that’s really incredible, so that’s why you attract incredible, amazing people.”
Conversely, the area that I don’t seem to attract “incredible” people in is my love life. I’m laughing now as I write this because it’s just such a shit-show. Maureen saw me get my heart broken by someone I thought really loved me, and it totally threw me into a spiral of doubt and pain that I didn’t anticipate. I was so convinced that this boy was perfect for me as a possible boyfriend, but more importantly friend, that I didn’t bother to see all the red flags that were very present from a very early time. Ignoring those red flags, I continued on into this experience of being somewhat mistreated. When I finally had enough, I shut it down. However, “shutting it down” on someone that you thought you loved is a lot easier to type than it is to live. Remembering the good times can be fatal. But even after you move on from someone, there will always be a small place in your heart for the people you have loved at one point or another-it’s just human. And we all know I’m very, very, VERY human. Sue me.
For some odd reason, as “confident” as I am/have been, demanding the best from romantic partners is an area I’ve struggled with over the past decade. What gave me a renewed sense of hope is my cousin’s words of wisdom about my future in love. She told me that she wanted me to use “the same confidence, the same aura, and the same energy” as I have always used to attract these brilliant, life-long friends into my life; to attract the man of my dreams.
It was the best piece of advice I’d gotten in a long time, because it made me realize that the reason I’ve been somewhat unlucky in this “game of love” is that I have not used this special “energy” to seek out what I deserve. It’s like I dimmed my shine, and in doing so, I attracted some very dark characters. Fortunately, I’ve broken that pattern, and that part of my life is over with now. Going forward, I’m going to take my cousin’s advice and use this special “energy” to attract the best man possible for me. Being as psychic as she is, I totally believe that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. In the mean time, I’m going to do ME, which includes radiating my shine to its ultimate brilliance.