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So far this semester I have had:
2 students suspended,
3 different students choke classmates,
4 students pushed down the stairs,
1 student who pushed me,
1 student kick another in the face and break his retainer,
1 student who says hitting is a form of massage,
countless fights and a million discussions.
They show no respect and do not follow directions at all.
They scream, backtalk and interrupt constantly.
They are my daily challenge.
I spend more time scolding and dealing with their conduct than what I actually give class.
I have tried a million techniques and strategies but nothing seems to work.
They just don’t care.
And here I am at my wits end just trying to break through to them.
Did I mention they’re only in 3rd grade?
Nothing I learned in college could have prepared me for the realities of the classroom. At least of this classroom.
I’m dying for the year to be over and that I’m able to survive it.
I’m wearing thin and on the verge of giving up.
I am looking into attending culinary school— just for fun and because it has always been my “back up plan”. I’m a pretty good cook and I think it would be fun to apply to everyday life. Besides, I’m pretty sure you can cook all over the world and that would just be the perfect thing to go to England with. Haha.
Anyhow, one of the classes is math…
Opening to New Horizons
I suppose I never know how open my horizons are. I may think they’re pretty good, but then come in contract with someone who wrenches my heart open a little wider, or just challenges my perceptions such that I’m forced to reconsider all I may have once held dear. Today was one of those days.
We all have people who push our buttons — who talk too much when the game is on, espouse conservative politics when we’re an Obama-lover, or just not engage when all we want is a good, old fashioned heart-to-heart. I have someone who comes into my life every once in a while who does this, usually by talking through an orifice better left to other things.
This person doesn’t bother to gather facts or filter the Internet or other sources for information. He/she does like to talk a lot, usually about nothing, while clinging to some fabricated sense of purpose or opinion. Which, if we’re being honest here, annoys me to no end. So I tried a variety of means to reframe this, um, person. I tried thinking of time as an arrow, shooting through space so the conversation could be over faster. I tried imagining this person in his/her underwear, as they ask you to when speaking in public. But all this got me was a dizzy, unpleasant feeling I’d rather forget.
Finally, I settled on an old standby, the reframe by committee. In another room, I asked my husband if I was being unreasonable. He, being the reasonable type, would tell me the truth. He agreed. This person was being an idiot. But the look on his face, as he was trying to be fair but honest, got me, and then I started giggling to no end. And then he started giggling, on and on until I’d completely forgotten what it was I’d asked him about.
Searching for the words to say.
“At the end of the day, you either focus on what separates you, or what keeps you together. So what are you going to do?”
Do you know that, when you watch tv and then a person says something that somehow corresponds to your current situation? I do. Well, as much as it hurt me to learn about what he did on the weekend, I can’t let it outrun the good I experienced while being in this relationship so I guess in the end, it comes down to forgiveness. He hasn’t done anything (yet) and I hope he won’t. And if by chance he does (which he won’t), and I happen to find out, I can do something about it.
I’ll let it be in the meanwhile …
(( I may have thought too soon about quitting this blog, and I may want to keep it.
However, I will take a small hiatus and still not accept any new questions. Once I have answered them all, I could accept more again.. We will see!
Thing is, I have other projects going on, aswell as business in my life, and I can’t strive too hard to keep Mrs. Cake as actively updated as possible.
Overall, I am reconsidering retiring, so Mrs. Cake might stay for a bit longer!
Here’s some fanart a friend of mine drew me.
Adorable, isn’t it? ))
I love my blog and I love everyone I follow and everyone who follows me. So many beautiful pictures and this has become a way for me to sort of unwind or ignore my anxiety. I just need to ramble and get my thoughts out. If you don’t want to read rambles or personal thoughts then continue on finding lovely pictures. :)
So I’m thinking of reconsidering my plans of moving back to the states after graduation. See the thing is, I have never been a party person because I’m too afraid that I will be judged. But here’s the thing, I just got back from a party where I had to dress as a drag queen (long story) and I danced and sang and had the best night that I have ever had. Not once was I worried that I was being judged. I didn’t even know some of the people but I was going and actually trying to get to know them. I honestly don’t remember the last time I was that happy. If I’m happy here, then why move back to the place that screwed me up in the first place? It just doesn’t make sense.
if I’m making any of the right decisions right now. Is the major I’m going to slave six years of my life away for really what I want? A part of me feels like it’s not. I have this desire to just be free of everything, I want to live a simple life, with amazing people. I want to go on adventures and party and be free. I don’t want to slave away for a degree that might not take me where i’m supposed to be. A part of the reason why I’m reconsidering my decision is because it’s hard. It’s really hard, but I can’t help wondering what things will be like if I had a different major and went to a different school. Would I be happy and satisfied then? Who knows.