Home from an exciting adventure
Went for a lot of long hikes, had wine during an alcohol ban in the park we were staying at, realized frogs called spring peepers like listening to “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”, figured out that “Bright Side of Life” has the same chording as “Blue Moon” (thus the sister and I engaged in some polyphony), visited the ruins of an old mica mine, and drove through two small ghost towns. I also napped for about 2-3 hours each day.
So perfect three day vacation.
Castiel wakes up, dazed and a little confused. He sits up and takes in his surroundings wearily. He soon realizes he’s in a motel room, which just confuses him more. He feels strange, different. A bad kind of different.
Castiel soon realizes the souls are gone, and so is his Grace. Quickly, he gets off the motel bed and lands on his feet. He makes a quick search around the room, but there is nothing to be found. Whatever ‘attacked’ him didn’t leave any traces behind. Castiel knew it had to have been something powerful, no one could’ve over-powered him in the state he was in.
It scares him a little. But Castiel concludes whatever it was is no longer around. He tries to remember, but his memory goes as far back as telling Dean he didn’t want to grow a beard and that really isn’t helping.
Dean.
Castiel is about to reach for the phone when he falters. Would Dean even help him?
He shakes his head and grabs the phone. Castiel has no other choice, he needs to call someone. Carefully he pushes in the digits of Dean’s phone number and listens to the croaking sound of the call, waiting impatiently for Dean to pick up.
Real-life post: Brave
I saw Brave tonight with my family. I loved it! Not only super cute, but also very touching. It is kind of scary how much Merida and Eleanor’s relationship mirrors the relationship I have with my mother. Walking out of the movie, my mom even turned to me and said, “She was you!” I’m grateful to say that my and my mom’s relationship has gotten better over the last few years. We still have our moments but we really understand each other now than we did when back when I was a teenager.
By the way, the criticism for this movie really astounds me. Just because she is athletic and doesn’t want to marry the 3 mediocre choices of men set before her automatically means she’s gay? Did these critics NOT see those men? If I were her, I wouldn’t want to marry them either. I like how young girls are often told to “follow your heart” and “stay true to yourself” but when they do, they get shot down for most of their choices. If young girls don’t fit into this socially acceptable model of how to be and live, they are criticized for it and automatically put into labels. That line of thinking and way of reasoning is what causes so many young girls have to identity issues. So what if Merida is a lesbian? Does it matter in the end? Is it relevant to how she resolved her problems with her mom? Not at all. I say, good for her for not settling for anything less than what she wants or deserves. It really makes me wonder why society is so afraid of strong and independent females figures. And I also applaud Disney and Pixar for making a compelling and moving princess film without a love story. Let’s be real, it’s about time.
Just my two cents.
I go home today, I go home today~~~
I’m excited about going home because then I’ll have my own room again, and not have to live with anyone sleeping in the same room as me. Plus its almost summer time, I’ll be working (even though I don’t like my job that much) And I’ll have time to prepare for the summer con season, and get to have random hangouts with my bffl~ and get to go on vacation, and go visit people.
I will miss living on my own for a while, and being in the city where there is more to do than in my dinky middle of nowhere farm town, but random trips into the city will happen, so I can see awesome peoples!~ Plus shenanigans and random cosplay shoots, and god I’m so happy to be done with this semester.
AND TV. I GET MY TV BACK. YES THANK YOU JESUS.
mystel watches a fuck ton of tv because reasons
It was great being back in school, but I’m ready for a nice break.
And god damnit, I’m going to the beach sometime this summer. This is a thing thats happening even if I have to walk there -huffs-
/random
Resolution
Not quite. I had my summative meeting today wherein, essentially, I’m told if I’m being offered a contract for next year or if I’m being put on a performance improvement plan. I was offered a contract, I sort-of-not-really hinted that I’m torn about returning, and my principal embarked upon her sales pitch. She
- said she was going to get the juniors to keep harassing me about returning
- advised me to get a credit card with frequent flier miles so I can fly back to Ohio more
- told me a story about how, essentially, teachers are best in their third year
I was so confused and still am confused and I all but said “ok sure I’ll come back.” Then I sat at my desk in my classroom and looked at the pictures on the wall of my sister and niece and almost cried. Then I felt very confused about what I even want to do next year…if I even wanted to go to grad school in Ohio or if I even wanted to come back.
I just don’t want to do anything. That’s all.
Had a dream that I was getting some Jamba Juice in the mall with my auntie I haven’t seen in forever after Judo practice. I’m reading something in a foreign language. It’s old and has a burgundy binding with gold lettering.
(Could’ve been subconsciously Journey to the End of the Night or What is To Be Done, which makes this a reference to a very brief period of my life.)
Out of the corner of my eye, I see BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH all by his lonesome at another table. So I’m explaining the book to my aunt and he seems kinda semi-interested in my book explaining. He ends up joining the conversation. Geeking out over classic lit. YES.
We all leave to our cars, continuing the conversation all the while, when I am suddenly woken up by a phone call. Thanks mom. :D But not really.
Everyday I worry about my future
It’s one of the things that bother me the most in my life.
I’m scared I wont get into the course I want to do, and if I do get the course I want to do, will I even get a well paying job from it?
Will I get a job at all? I dont want to do a course that ill hate then get a job I hate for the rest of my life.
Will I ever get married? what if I dont get married, never start a family.
Do I even want a family? how old is too old to start a family?
Will I ever live with someone? will we be stable?
Will I be able to pay all my own bills?
I just don’t know, I’m constantly day dreaming and thinking about the future. its such a worry for me.
