Read this now: "Yes, I Really Am Bisexual. Deal With It."
nytimes.comSometimes, the New York Times’ Modern Love hits it out of the park. This is one of those times.
In this column, writer Wilson Diehl chronicles the process of telling new partners that she’s bisexual and dealing with their many mixed reactions. Some say it’s a phase, some say it’s hot, and everything in between comes up too. She tells them early on in new relationships, sometimes worried they’ll be “scared off.”
Diehl is married to a man now, but she says she does everything she can not to erase her bisexuality (sometimes in a humorous way):
In our little family, Jared is more or less the sole breadwinner, and I’m usually at home making sure our two children don’t stick their diminutive flatware in the outlets — which is to say, our roles aren’t just hetero-normative but old-school hetero-normative.
Is it strange that I call myself bisexual even though he and I have been married for four years and I haven’t so much as held hands with a woman in seven or eight? Is it reasonable for me to claim queerness when I’ve benefited so much from heterosexual privilege: shared health insurance, uncomplicated baby-making, implicit legal guardianship, inarguable life insurance beneficiaries, a federally recognized union?
Strange or not, reasonable or not, it is what I am. And because my bi-ness seldom has occasion to come up organically, I intermittently bring it up apropos of nothing. “I can’t pick a restaurant — I’m bisexual,” I’ll say. Or “I’m wearing jeans and a skirt today because, you know, I’m bisexual.”
Speaking as a fellow bi girl, though I’m not married, I have a hard time finding really great writing about what it’s like to be bi and dating someone, no matter that person’s gender. This column does a wonderful job, and I’m going to hold onto it. What did you think?
Read this now: "He wasn't the marrying kind"
latimes.comThis piece isn’t exactly newsy, but it’s entertaining, interesting and worth a share.
Neal Broverman, a friend and former colleague of mine from The Advocate, wrote this wonderful column for the Los Angeles Times about when he briefly dated a man who didn’t believe in marriage equality. It’s not a big secret that not every LGBT person believes in same-sex marriage, but it does sometimes come as a shock to those who do.
Here, Neal describes his reaction to the man’s anti-marriage stance in a way that’s quirky and relatable, and even a little heartbreaking.
“People can think different things,” he says. “We don’t all have to like purple.”
The loud waiter glides up to the table. “Good shrimp?” Yes, yes, we both mumble. Make this moment end.
“Color preference is not the same thing, and you know that,” I say. A woman across the mostly empty dining room looks up at me. I work to control the volume of my voice. “How can you not believe in gay marriage?”
“It’s just that the gay relationships I see are not what I’d consider marriage. They’re not monogamous.”
I don’t bring up that the last guy I met on this dating website asked me, after three months of seeing each other, if he could have sex with his ex-boyfriend. (No.) I don’t mention that my last committed relationship was five years ago, and that all the guys I dated since then viewed exclusivity as punishment.
“Don’t you think that by refusing to grant gay people the privilege of marriage,” I say, “many believe they are not capable or worthy of a monogamous relationship?” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It’s a short read, but a good one. Let me know what you think.
Fic: Lost and Found
phantomofarose.livejournal.comTitle: Lost and Found
Word count: 3,200+
Rating: G
Author: phantomofarose
Summary: Kurt finds the camera on the subway one morning, surprised to see photos of a handsome man holding a white board with words on it. This was a prompt requested by amazinglybelle - who asked for Kurt finding a camera with this on it (but of Blaine, of course!) Check out that post - it’s hilarious!
HEY LISSSTEEEEENN!! Corpse Party and Homestuck 'c0rpse party!'
Kinda made this because even I am gettin’ a bit annoyed about it.
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I know I’m in both fandoms, but lets not fight okay? I know, some people in the Corpse Party tag are gettin’ all angry at the Homestickers lurkin’ around in it.
This way so we don’t get fandoms mixed up and fought out, lets just do this :
- CORPSE PARTY FANDOM! Continue to tag all CP posts with the usual :
- #corpse party
- HOMESTUCK FANDOM! We know that the phrase ‘c0rpse party!’ came from Aradia, blah blah. But let me tell you, there is a fandom for a game / manga actually called Corpse Party (Blood Covered, PC-98, Book of Shadows, etc). We don’t want to see any Homestuck related posts in that particular tag, so from now on, please try to tag your ‘c0rpse party! 0u0’ related posts with these :
- #aradias corpse party, #hs corpse party, #c0rpse party! 0u0, or how bout for fuck’s sake : #c0rpse party. But DO NOT mix it in the #Corpse Party tag.
Thanks for everyone that reads this.
Spock couldn’t deny that he’d spent the past seventeen point five minutes looking in his Captain’s direction. He found himself looking for any signs or winks from Jim, but the Captain seemed busy with reports and hadn’t looked in Spock’s direction for most of the afternoon. Upon realizing he’d wasted the majority of his shift focusing more on Jim than his work, Spock silently berated himself as he reached over to shut down his PADD.
To his surprise, the top corner was lit up indicating a message.
—Spock, help.
Spock glanced from his PADD to Jim, who didn’t seem to be in any danger, before typing a reply.
—Is there a problem, Captain?
—There’s this Vulcan on the bridge and he won’t stop staring at me.
Wool- Dystopian for adults*
If you’re looking for a great dystopian, post-apocalyptic novel, I highly recommend the Wool series (you can currently get all 5 novels in the series in one bundle for 6 bucks on Kindle)
IT IS SO GOOD. It has over 3,000 5-star reviews on Amazon.
Mystery. Murder. Science-fictiony goodness. A side of love. And since all the books are bundled into one, it’s long enough to occupy you for a good bit, while being exciting enough to keep you reading. It’s fabulous.
*Don’t get me wrong- I love some YA. This is just a little less focused on the love story and more focused on the mystery of what-the-fuck-is-going-on. Plus, it’s really well written.
**The Omnibus edition is the one with all novels included in one book
FIC REC: Floating on the Water
archiveofourown.orgAuthor: scottmcniceass
Pairings: Zayn/Liam, Harry/Louis
Word Count: 58,206
Rating: R
Summary: Liam just wants to get through his last summer working at Malik Resort before University without incident. Of course, life is never that easy, and he ends up getting roped into giving the bosses son, Zayn, swimming lessons. That wouldn’t be so bad, if Zayn didn’t happen to hate him so much.
Oh, the things you miss when you’re purposefully trying to avoid people. Anissa, dear, I was going to tell you a fantastic wonderful happy birthday yesterday, but I hate getting on facebook. So I’ll post it here. Even though it should’ve been posted yesterday.
Anissa, you’re lovely and amazing and I love being able to call you a close friend. You’re always there when I need you, and I try and return the favor as much as possible. I’m so happy for you, with what’s been happening recently. I hope it continues going fantastically for you, because you deserve a beyond fantastic year. Happy birthday :)
Misreading Introverts
As an introvert, I really think there a whole lot of people out there who need to take the time to read this. Please pass it on to others who you think need to read this to understand us better.
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
Fic Rec: every time you fall, it's making your chin strong
fanfiction.netFINN. IS. BATMAN.
and it’s pretty fucking epic.
Title: Please Save Me?
Summary: “It’s you,” Kurt blurted. It was the boy he met the day of his mother’s funeral, the one who had a knack for showing up whenever Kurt needed him, the one he hadn’t seen in six years. Blaine. What Kurt didn’t know was that Blaine had never left, not for a second.
Rated: PG-13
Word count: 28,661
