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“It’s okay to say “no” if you change your mind. We allow you to change majors and change direction and change clothes, with no repercussions other than possibly wasted time. If his touch is too forceful and his breath too hot and his weight too much, you are not bound to your previous decision. If your mimd is screaming and your nerves are sizzling, they are as valid then and now as they were five minutes ago, when you were saying yes. It’s okay to say “no” if you were flirting. Batted eyelashes and sly smirks and witty words do not form a map to your uncharted territory. Your playfulness does not relieve them of their self control. Your allure does not diminish their responsibility to be respectful. The only path you led them on is that of the unknown, of which the rules of the road still apply. It’s okay to say “no” if you’re unsure. It’s okay to say “no” if you’re embarrassed. It’s okay to say “no” when they tell you it isn’t okay to say “no.”—When It’s Ok To Say “No”
“I think the best moment in my life was when I was going to kick that guy's ass on stage for touching that girl without her permission in our audience. I mean, like..I almost blacked out. I just saw it and I almost lost all conscious thought when I was singing. It was like I was possessed or something. I mean..how deluded are you as a man to think you can just claim ownership over a woman? This isn't some kinky BDSM shit. This is your power hungry little dick acting out because you have issues.”—Kurt Cobain
Kindergarten, AKA Introduction to Male Privilege
I met one of my daughter’s classmates who’s been infuriating her. He keeps telling her she can’t do things because she’s a girl (this week’s obsession being that she can’t play team sports, she has to be a cheerleader). Well today I watched him grab the glue stick in my kid’s hand, pull with all his might, literally screeeeaaaming in this horrible guttural demon-voice that she had to give it to him for (I’m not fucking kidding) over a full fucking minute. Meanwhile I kept saying no, she would share, but she had it first and he shouldn’t take things without asking. His tiny little face stayed contorted in this horrible grimace while he kept demanding she give it to him NOW and trying to pry it out of her fingers, and his mother (literally right next to him, touching him) just watched and said nothing.
And this is kindergarten rape culture, folks.
The teacher didn’t even notice any of this (even though there were only ~20 students and 10 parents in the room), which helps explain why my daughter constantly comes home talking about how this boy says and does awful things and doesn’t get punished. I need to have a parent-teacher conference, too, because when my daughter reports this bullying behavior to the teacher (which is what I tell her to do), she’s told not to “tattle.”
Don’t tattle on your bullies, kids, let them be disgusting bullies who never get punished for their actions. That’s not a fucking gross message to send to children or anything.
So glad it’s almost summer you don’t even know.