So the other night I drunkenly wrote a post ( it’s never good when I do that). I was having some mixed feelings about a boy I used to date. I was going to delete it but I figured I would keep it, I’ve (soberly) thought about it all… And this is my conclusion:

-yes, in the past week I have thought about you more than I have in a long time. It was hard to not talk to you for five months, and then out of no where you say hello. At first I was happy, and then I started feeling this longing- and I was missing you. But I think it’s the pure fact that you were my best friend and you will be able to make me the laugh until the day I die. And I miss that. I’m finally used to being on my own- it took me a while to let the thought of you go… But I now accept you are no longer mine. I can also accept the fact that you belong to someone else ( I really wish you would actually tell me about her, but maybe some day you will). I can accept that. But I don’t think I can accept not talking to you for five months. I didn’t know where we stood- I didn’t know if you hated me, thought I was crazy, or just didn’t care to have any kind of relationship- so I just waited for you to talk to me… But after talking the few times we have this week I believe that you might miss talking to me the way that I have missed talking to you. I know us talking will be more of a rare occurrence than a common one- but I will accept that. I’ve missed you, and I will always such a strong connection with you. The point is I am finally at a good place with you. I feel if I would see you tomorrow I would give you a big hug and ask you how’s it going? I don’t believe it would be awkward. We would probably and talk and laugh and then part ways. I feel so much more comfortable when I hear your name, and for the first time In a long time I feel like If I needed to talk, you’d be there… So thank you for finally taking the first move and ask me how I was doing.

So that’s how I feel. I’m pretty happy with everything right now…it’s finally Like a breath of fresh air.