"Father Hufflebadger, could you please share some amusing experiences that you have had with the other mascots with us pufflings?"

Huffle Badger has tons of stories…Huffle Badger’s like a book, except that you don’t eat books.

Once, the mascots all got together in the spirit of house unity to create a scavenger hunt for the students at Hogwarts. At first, it seemed like a good idea — especially since Huffle Badger’s house was going to win, being such prolific finders and all.

Except, shit didn’t really pan out so well.

Ravenbird in all her fucking brilliance made the riddles so difficult, nobody could solve them. Everyone sat around drooling ike the confundus charm had been cast over the whole castle.

Gryffinlion hid his clues in places that would have resulted in mortal peril: he put clues on the Whomping Willow, the bottom of the Great Lake, the middle of the Forbidden Forest, and outside the astronomy tower.

…Outside the fucking astronomy tower.

Slythersnake was no better. We all knew he was up to shit when the muggle-borns started getting different directions than the other students. To this day, Slythersnake says its entirely a coincidence they were all heading in the general vicinity of the Chamber of Secrets.

But alas, Huffle Badger isn’t without blame. He put the final clues on cookies. And ate them.

To this day, there are 80 year old wizards prowling the grounds looking for those clues. Bet you they don’t put that on the school flyers…