dear me,

i know that sometimes you get lonely for ~~romance~~! and that’s normal and ok!! but even when ur a little down you should try to remember that one day, you’re totally gonna find a cute girl who loves the heck outta you and youll be like ‘lol remember when i thought i was always gonna be single lmao’ and then you’ll go snuggle ur cutie lesbian mistress. 

so yeah

no worries, self. you’re a good kitty

Sometimes I don’t feel adequate. Other times I feel quite the opposite. Today I felt beautiful. But not so much in the physical realm, more so in the personal sense-of-self way. When I choose to see my inner self, the part of me that knows that all that matters are my intentions, I feel such gratitude. 

I am forever reminded of one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite memoirs.

“I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions”

From Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs

It’s so much easier to look forward when you’ve cleared your mind of negative thoughts. It’s been such a productive week. Can’t wait to see how I handle the coming stress of the semester. Positive thoughts!

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An update

  • I have been working two jobs too often and hopefully one of them turns into a full time position this week
  • If there is any justice in the world
  • After which I will return to regularly scheduled blogging
  • After the celebrating
  • Or binge cupcake eating should this be another mis-hire - which feels like a never ending theme in recent months. 

If you keep thinking about the negative things, you’ll never be able to see the brighter side of those things.

Valentines is the probable cause of depression in most singles now :) Don't mind the day. It's just an ordinary day okay :D

let’s love each other in an extra ordinary way everyday :)

You know what? I feel really content with my life right now. I don’t miss anyone, I don’t want anything (ok, maybe the iphone). I am looking forward to going back to Melbourne and starting my life again. This year will be awesome! 

I don't know how this happened...

Somehow, even with my checking news outlets every 30 minutes for debate articles, I have finished all my work for the day before lunch.

And I had a million things to do today…

*Busts out Chapter 24 for some afternoon writing.*

"[...]Even if people don’t show it, they care about you, they love you. If you kill yourself today or any other day you won’t know just how much you meant to people. If you kill yourself today, it stops your pain, but it pains all the ones who know you for the rest of their life.[...]"

SO!

I am turning in an application to YARDHOUSE! Weee!
I really, really, really need to get hired already. I’ve sent in an application to: the Goodwill, Rubios, Michaels, Disneyland, and STILL nothing. :

please send positive thoughts and peace towards my city today. seven people lost their lives at the hands of an angry man yesterday.

things can only get better~

I’m probably going to sound really weird for saying this, but

Sometimes… I’m almost kind of glad that I am trans?

Like

I feel like if I was a biologically born girl

That I would probably (due to my mother being able to influence how I am from a much younger age) be MUCH much different from how I am now.

So, like… maybe it was almost sort of a good thing that I’m trans?

Maybe or maybe not… but I just thought about it… just trying to add a little bit of a positive to this whole thing, I guess.

I “graduated” from PT today meaning Im not going back until after my surgery. Praying I have a date soon and that my insurance will cover the procedure.

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