Popeye’s Chicken is predicting record profits as legalization of medical marijuana has now reached 13 states.
“We’re building 250 locations within stumbling distance of the marijuana distribution centers in a project called ‘Operation Munchies’ rendering our company literally recession proof,” said CEO Carl McLamb.
Customer reactions have been overwhelming. “It really cut down on the commute, plus, what was I saying?” “I used to have to drive like a really long way to satisfy my munchies. That really sucked. Hey, you gonna eat that?” ###
My bonus son wrote this awhile back. He’s a classically-trained actor in LA who studies and performs sketch comedy and improv. He plays the ukulele, sings, and juggles knives, swords, or some bullshit. What a loser!!! ;)
Press Release for Trivia Night at Boone's Tavern, Jan. 10, 2012
2nd Place- The team with “That Guy”
3rd Place- German Coast Guard (Regulars)
“Cocaine” won Trivia Night for the second consecutive week on Tuesday scoring 57 points over the three rounds. They managed a perfect round score in Round 1, and won the second round outright before securing overall victory in Round 3. The team with “That Guy” finished second, improving one spot from their third place finish last week.
This marks the fifth straight week that the team has won at least one round, and the third overall victory. In the eight weeks that the team has played, they have only finished outside the top three once.
Dan on his team’s victory:
“I was a little surprised by the victory. We thought we dropped too many points in Round 3, especially with the points we missed about the active volcanoes and the Dukes of Hazzard. I blame myself for the missed point on the basketball question. I was grateful that I won the slap bet and didn’t receive a slap in the face from Nick in Round 3 about whether or not Popeye’s Chicken was the third highest chicken franchise in America. Plus, I’m glad paying attention to the Royal Wedding payed off, I never thought knowing Pippa Middleton’s first name would help us win money off our bar tab. We can’t argue with the result, and it was nice Kevin could finally answer a question about comic books.”
Dan on the slap bet:
“There was a dispute on what answer we should give. The question was a three parter about fast food chicken, and you had to rank the top three after No. 1, which is Kentucky Fried Chicken. The second part of the question had a clue, which had to do with a Gene Hackman movie character.
“I said that the character was Popeye Doyle from “The French Connection,” and the answer would be Popeye’s Chicken (which is delicious by the way). Nick was convinced Popeye’s was ranked higher, and would be another part of the answer. I was able to persuade the rest of the team, but only after offering to receive a slap in the face if the answer was wrong. Thankfully, we got the question right. I lost a slap bet once, and it sucked.”
“That Guy” Report:
Kevin spoke with a member of the team with “That Guy” and seemed to get a good vibe from him, and most of the team seemed to be good sports.
However, Nick overheard “That Guy” say, “Bastards!” after his defeat and displayed poor body language. He wore a different backwards hat than usual, although his hair was unkempt as always.
I Don’t Do Cocaine But I Like the Way It Smells competes again at Trivia Night next Tuesday, at Boone’s Tavern.
Dear Popeye’s Chicken,
You make my tummy and poop shoot hurt the next day. However, you were yummy in my belly last night. Sadly, I am reminded why we are not close friends. Apparently you spend way too much time with your dear friend Long John Silvers. It’s not nice what you are doing to me.
Sister Merriment St Martha & her Bowel Gnomes
P.S. I can’t wait to enjoy you again