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And about the other regions...
So I come back after sleep + l’internship (which is exactly how you conjugate that… and that is exactly what “conjugate” means) to find that the Johto post went from, like, 10 notes to 130+. Because someone is apparently awesome, and I need to dig through my notes and follow that person.
But anyway! A follow-up post! I might do full-fledged ‘dex details later, but basically, all you need to know is I have indeed asked myself what the other Pokémon want to/can do if the ones in Johto are the ones that kill you in hilarious ways.
And then I realized that the other regions just aren’t that scary.
Kanto: Everything is a goddamn pet. For serious. Clefairy? Rare-as-fuck pet. Persian? There are fucking lolcats about that one. Growlithe? Obligatory guard dog. Gyarados? …Okay, you’d have to be a fucking moron to try to keep one, but this didn’t stop the Sensational Sisters. I mean, damn, if Misty’s sisters can keep a Gyarados, that either means they’re hardcore or that Gyarados is only slightly murderous.
Hoenn: You have Tropius offering up phallic fruits, Spinda getting you pseudo-drunk with Teeter Dance, and Gardevoir. I’m not actually sure I want to answer this one.
Sinnoh: I’m almost tempted to say this place is Canada, what with the numbers of Pokémon representing honor, ancient folklore, friendship, and beavers.
Unova: I don’t care if there are other Pokémon in this region. Everything represents freedom.
Gen VI: France.
What is your favorite aspect of each Pokemon region?
I’mma gonna assume you mean what feature (characters, geography, lore, et cetera) I like from each region and not which feature (battles, music, art style, storyline, and so forth) like from each gen. If I totally got this wrong, feel free to drop another ask, anon!
Kanto: I have to say the characters in general. Gym leaders especially (and the Gen I/III set to boot). Maybe it’s just because they’ve been around for so long, but they seem the most fleshed out to me if we take into consideration every bit of Pokémon canon at once. I mean, Giovanni’s got a lengthy backstory. The girls all have various hobbies. Blaine is on crack. Surge is hilariously open stereotype. And I could go on, but just imagining them getting together for their league’s various events sounds like fodder for many a crack fic. And I’m okay with that.
The ability to stalk Bill. Seriously, the culture. They don’t have as deep a folklore as Sinnoh’s, but they’re still unique in customs, history, and legends. I mean, you’ve got maiko running around summoning legends with bells, said legends being part of stories involving how much they hate humanity, elders telling stories about how these legends will drag children to their lairs for misbehaving… and let’s not forget that everyone in Not Osaka is crazy, and they have at least one city that’s explicitly famous for its constant partying ”festive charm.” Johto is just all-around a fun place to be in, just because I imagine it’s that full of shenanigans.
I’d also like to emphasize how I amused I am that, until we get an actual Australia-based region, Johto is practically the Australia of the Pokémon world. Most of the things in it want to kill you. The legends are judging the fuck out of you (if they’re not dragging your children to the depths of the ocean, goddamn Lugia), the seemingly harmless alphabet Pokémon are waiting to mindfuck you, and among its otherwise perfectly ordinary Pokémon list, it has a fucking grizzly bear, a dog whose bite will leave you with eternal burns (although I guess if we’re fair, that one’s actually in Kanto), a fucking four-foot-tall spider that — oh yeah — is fucking venomous as shit, and a bird whose feathers are made of swords. Oh, and its pseudo-legendary eats mountains, and its elephants fucking roll. And let’s not forget the exploding pine cones either. Jesus Christ, Johto.
Hoenn: The Pokémon. For serious, I am in love with half this ‘dex. Spinda, Absol, Kecleon, all of the starters, the bugs, Solrock and Lunatone, all of the legendaries (not so much the legends admittedly because Hoenn legends are pretty boring to me)… the list just goes on. That and I like how happy and sunny Hoenn seems, and even when it’s about to flood, it seems cheerier than most of the other regions.
Sinnoh: The lore. I consider this point separate from Sinnoh’s culture because unlike Johto, I never really got a strong sense of what Sinnoh’s culture was. Still, its folklore is amazing. It comes complete with a creation myth, answers to whether or not humans are connected to the legendaries the way Pokémon obviously are, the all-important “Pokémon are our equals” bit, and so on. I have to admit I really like their idea of dimension hopping, and Torn World is a fantastic concept. In all, I feel like Sinnoh’s legends are really legends — creatures that aren’t just powerful so much as actual gods. And I’m a sucker for mythology with pantheons, so… there’s that.
Unova: Admittedly, I just couldn’t get behind Unova. Not a secret either. I’m not really attached to many of the Pokémon, and to me, it feels like the lore is more or less an afterthought. There’s no emphasis on it, and even the generation’s mascot Pokémon are downgraded from gods to actual tools of human heroes. I’m also not really into the geography (although the Sky Arrow Bridge is always fun to travel across), the gyms, or… well, anything, really. I think the thing that I like out of the gen are the characters, though, but even then… except for Lenora, I really do prefer the animeverse characters to the gameverse ones. Lenora is just awesome no matter which way you put it, but characters like Cilan and Iris get far more interesting (to me, anyway) when they’re able to steal the spotlight from Ash and play off each other constantly.
Except Bianca. Bianca is far better in my book when we’re looking at her gameverse self. Animeverse Bianca is just annoying to me. Gameverse Bianca has character layers and struggles and isn’t the strongest but is okay with this in the end and guh. (Apparently, I like Bianca when she’s not serving as anyone’s love interest
but Hilda’s? I blame this on the pinch-hit post I wrote for the holiday exchange, actually.)
And for shits and giggles:
All of the Rangers Regions: The fact that drawing a circle to capture a Pokémon is a boss idea.
PMD Region: Kecleon.
I hope the Pokemon people make a new game.
One that combines the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions.
Or even just re makes of the ones we have now!
What I want is a new, awesome story line with more battles against Team Rocket, Team Magma, Team Aqua, and Team Galactic, but with the same Pokemon.
I don’t want new fucking Pokemon that look like goddamn trash bags and other bullshit. I want new adventures, with the same old Pokemon I’ve loved since I was four.
Generations I, II, III, and IV are all welcomed. Not generation V. -_-