Odd things my mom did when I was growing up...
1) Save every straw we got from fast food and didn’t use.
2) Save plastic utensils.
How this effected me when I moved out:
“Oh sweet! Mom gave me Malt-o-Meal!!” *make malt-o-meal and add a ton of milk to make malt-o-soup* “Yay! so happy! Wait…NO FUCKING STRAWS. GOD DAMN IT.” *drinks it from cup*
“Mom, I don’t think I need your monster bag of plastic forks and crap.”
“Just take it, just in case.”
“ALRIGHT. FINE.”
~Later that same night~
*BF just finished putting all dishes in the washer to wash moving dirt off them*
*I finish making dinner*
*Go to grab forks out of utensil drawer*
“…”
“Fuck…”
*Quietly pull 2 plastic forks out of monster bag of plastic crap*
“My mom with not hear about this…”
Yeah…I just made Malt-o-Meal AGAIN and forgot that be don’t have straws…I’m going to buy some tonight…
i wonder if i could teach a dog to throw a skittle into the air and eat it
because i do this all the time
and i nearly choked on a skittle
these things are dangerous man
wait but then this would be inferring that i would wish my dog to choke on a skittle
nm sorry i am not cruel i promise i only want my dog to have cool skills
Funny story time.
I was at work today, and went down to get food at the cafeteria.
I got back from there, and my fork was defective (broken tine). So, I went to my desk to get a new one, as well as my salt and pepper (I had a salad).
I was headed back to my friend’s desk when our Senior Manager, R, was barreling down the aisle of the cubes, looking at his phone. He looked up at the last minute to avoid smashing into me.
So, I sat down and started eating. We were talking about what could have happened, and S was like “He was really moving. He would have bowled you over.”
And then I thought for a minute and was like “I’d be laying on my back staring at the ceiling and my fork would be in one cube and my salt and pepper would be in the other cube.”
Then we kind of laughed and I was like “What if I accidentally stabbed him with the plastic fork?”
We laughed even harder. I was like “he’d be done!”
More laughter.
Then said, “So much for getting in as a direct employee. I’d be on my permanent record…”
We were talking some more and I was like “I’d go in for an interview and the interviewer would see that I’d stabbed my Sr. Manager with a fork… BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!”
We were quite silly today.
