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now this is a story all about how our lives got flipped turned upside down and i’d like to take a moment just sit right there i’ll tell you how we came to love 5 boys with great hair

in london england born and raised riding big ben is how we spent most of our days chillin out maxin relaxin all cool we were sipping earl grey outside of our school when a couple of girls, they were up to no good, started making ruckus in our neighborhood??? we got in one little scuffle and our mommas got ‘fraid they said “y’all moving to boarding school, do u tink we have cares!!”

so here is the 100% true story entitled precious love: how we felt some type of way (based on the novel salty bitches by martina fajita (yes this is a story based on another story get over yourself))

once upon a time, in a small town known as chesire, there lived 5 positively lovely lassies named pratibha, maria, alex, emily, and connie. they were forced to study in a posh boarding school called st. stylinsons in the middle of fucking nowhere, with only lush greens and sparkling blues to surround them and a plethora of attractive men to pleasure them. so rly, their lives were not majorly bad, but they liked to create drama and pretend as though they were. they disguised themselves as sad and angsty teen bloggers to gather attention from their fellow peers bc they figured nobody would be able to see past their gloomy exteriors

but then came the stormy october day when five extremely fit boys sawed right through them

harry motherfuckin’ styles aka the sweet chesire prince whose eyes look like they were cut from emeralds themselves

louis ass tomlinson aka the classy yet sassy idiot from doncaster who will make u puke up ur drink from his perfectly chiseled features and nauseatingly charming laughters

liam puppy dog payne aka that boy who will actually cause you to weep because of his striking resemblance to an actual golden retriever and his fondness for milk + cookies

zayn precious malik aka the real bradford bad boy with a million tattoos of ur face all over his body and a heart made of cookie dough and melted sunshine

and then niall ellen degeneres horan aka a real life irish fairy pixie who will sprinkle sex all over your existence and will envelop u in precious horan hugs that make u want to combust into a million pieces and float away into the sun that is his angelic head of hair

this story will be continued…later…