[Thomas Bascue voice] Well, you see Alex, there was once a man who lived in a house by the ocean. He knew by all means he should have slept peacefully at night, but he couldn’t. He tossed and turned in bed every night, not even the gentle pounding of the waves could put him to sleep. He stayed up every night thinking of the one he loved. Twilight Sparkle. The small horse was beautiful in his eyes, and he believed with all of his heart that she was the only one he could ever love. Unfortunately, she was a cartoon horse character, and was incapable of love, and fictional. This was the thought that kept him awake at night. When he fell asleep, though, his dreams were full of the purple mare’s love for him. He knew that if he could sleep forever, she would be with him for the rest of his life. He thus decided to put himself into a coma, and threw himself in front of a moving bus. This was it, he could finally see his beloved Twilight forever. His last words before doctors pulled the plug on him being “Lol trolled faggot hahaha 420 smoke carcinogenic marijuana every day :^)”