When I was growing up I used to really look down on people who used to say “I don’t know” when asked what they wanted to pursue as a profession. Ever since I was ten I felt like my life was completely headed in one direction, but in the past several months, I’d say almost a year now, I find myself saying “I don’t know” a lot. But it’s not that I don’t know what I want to do, it’s that I want to do about a dozen things and I don’t know how to pick between them or prioritize which to do in what order.
What’s more, so many different people in my life are so goddamned certain and pushy about pushing me in one particular direction (and these are several people pulling me in different ones altogether) and it fucking blows because I feel like they have a very narrow scope of who I am based on how long they’ve known me, or because they knew me and spent a lot of time with me during a specific period of time in my past.
And the truth is, I am 10 different people within the scope of the same day. I’m an accountant, an activist, a writer, a social media coordinator, a film junkie, an editor, a journalist, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a counselor, and if I can’t decide for myself I don’t know how anyone on earth feels like they are entitled to decide for me.
To top that all off, the idea of having to focus and specialize seems really fucking narrow and moronic and I don’t want to ascribe to these notions that I can only be one thing, when thus far I’ve pretty successfully navigated being many things at once.
I guess, in short, I like being the way I am and I want to continue to do so, but people who I love are really fucking obnoxious and condescending because they feel the need to force their way of life on me.
Not everyone needs to specialize and focus on one thing.
You can be more than one thing.
I can change careers and routes completely a dozen times over.
I can reinvent myself as many times as I see fit.
Where do I want to go in life? A million different directions. I don’t see why that’s so goddamned hard to understand.
I’m honestly so scared regarding this “yahoo is buying tumblr” shit because tumblr means so much for me and I’ve met so many wonderful people here and I don’t want tumblr to be destroyed or changed
this is the only place where I can talk to people who like the same things I do and I don’t want that taken away, it means so much for me
At sunset on the shore,
the storm kissed the sea.
That evening, as he pulled
a blanket of mist over her
resting body, the storm asked
the sea what she was thinking.
The sea breathed for a while
as she thought,
“every night you come to me
in your fury and you bring me
to life; but when you kiss me
and leave, lover, clouds fill my
brow and another part of me dies.
Why must our love spell both
my life, and my death?”
the sea sighed before answering,
And the storm kissed her brow
one last time before parting,
promising her his return.