The End - A Learning to Dance fancfic/spinoff

I wrote a oneshot about the scene where Pedro died. Wow, that sounds really bad, doesn’t it? I felt really guilty, sad and depressed-ish while I was writing it, but I felt like I had to. I guess maybe I had to justify him dying to myself, and this is how I did it. So, here it is, and it would really mean a lot to me if you read it.

I look at Taz, into her dark eyes, the eyes of my homeland. Her eyes are wet and full of tears, like some internal barrier has fallen, let the real Taz through; the Taz behind the tough lieutenant. I feel as if I could see into her soul if I wanted to. But I don’t. I don’t want to. Because I’m afraid, afraid of what I might see there, afraid for myself and what I am about to do.

I look at Taz through the blue light of the forcefield. She is hitting it, screaming indistinct words. I see her mouth form my name, a tear making a track down her cheek. Pedro, Pedro.

 “It’s been an honour, Taz,” I say through the tears and the fuzz that seems to have overcome my mind so I can’t hear, can’t think. “All of it.”

“Ten seconds to ship separation,” says the serene, robotic voice of the starship. Damned robots. If it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t even be here right now. Damned Space-Claw and his estúpido last stand. Damn him, and all the other estúpido officers who ordered to explode Headquarters before we could tell them that there was a better way. I look at Taz, into her dark eyes, the eyes of my homeland. Her eyes are wet and full of tears, like some internal barrier has fallen, let the real Taz through; the Taz behind the tough lieutenant. I feel as if I could see into her soul if I wanted to. But I don’t. I don’t want to. Because I’m afraid, afraid of what I might see there, afraid for myself and what I am about to do. No; what I am doing. Because I know there’s no time to turn back now. It’s too late. I tear my eyes away and walk toward the warp crystal.  

As I stop, and stand beside the warp core, I see, out of the corner of my eye, the commander come sprinting up behind her. I smile weakly. At least, with him, she’ll be happy. It’s always been him she loved. Not me. I’ve been fooling myself all this time. Idiota.

“Ship separation initiated,” intones the Cazadora’s calm voice, and my mind suddenly clears. It’s like a weight has lifted from my shoulders, and a fog has lifted from my mind. Taz hurls herself at the forcefield, misery clearly etched on her face. I hear her, quite clearly, scream “PEDRO!” and I think, for an infinitesimally short second, that maybe she does care for me, just a little. But then the forcefield shudders and sparks, and the engineering compartment is ripped away from the body of the ship, and suddenly, before I can think, I am hurtling through space towards the robot fleet.

So many thoughts go through my head in the few short minutes, probably seconds, before I reach the robot ships. Thoughts of my childhood, of my family, all dead now. Thoughts of my years of training at the Academy. My life as a Ranger.  Of her. Taz. All the times I bullied her at the Academy, the times I thought I hated her, and all the times that love for her overpowered me. In the end, that’s all it ever was. Love. The reason for everything. For saving that dead goddamned Up from the aliens, because I knew that she could never be happy without him. For when I kissed her on that riverbank on that dead god-forsaken planet. Even the times I held her hair back while she puked her guts up. And last night. Last night…how could I have been so stupid? But that…that’s all behind me now.

I see the robot ships approaching at an alarming rate. It’s time. I reach out and put my hand on the trigger that will set off the explosion. Adios, I think. This is the end. Taz’s voice echoes in my head: This is what we trained for, Pedro. This is it, hombre! 

“Despedida,” I whisper. “Farewell.”

I pull the trigger.

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