There are Four Types of Child Rearing Strategies: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Uninvolved
There are Four Types of Child Rearing Strategies: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Uninvolved and each can Impact the Growing Child in Different ways.
“A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall cease.” - Elizabeth Gaskell
In psychology, it is difficult to studying how parenting style impacts the development of a child because each child is different and the environment affects them differently. Children such as siblings raised in the same environment have found to grow up to have different personalities while children raised in different settings can grow up to be a like. There are a lot of individual variability and personal factors that affects the development of child regardless of parenting styles.
However, psychologists do find some reliable links between parenting styles and outcome behaviors for when the child is in their early childhood and adolescents. Below, I’ve broken down the four parenting styles into level of acceptance and involvement, level of control, level of autonomy granting, childhood and adolescence outcomes.
Parenting styles can be divided based on the level of acceptance and control the parent has for the child.
Authoritative
Acceptance and Involvement: Warm, responsive, attentive, patient, and sensitive to child’s needs
Control: Makes reasonable demands for maturity and consistently enforces and explains them
LeakyCon--Parenting Styles of Teachers
This panel was presented by an adorable old British lady dressed as McGonagall and that just made it all the more awesome. I got to sit with Erica, who I somehow had only met at Leaky, even though we have a bunch of mutual Potter friends. Hm.
Honestly, this was almost identical (minus HP references) to a lecture I once had in my Child Development class. No new information, but still really interesting.
Like parents, teachers have styles. Since the HP series takes place in a boarding school, the teachers do take on parental characteristics.
For Harry to want to leave home, his home situation must have been horrible.
Teachers as parents:
-rule enforcing
-favorites
-depends mostly on the teacher
We each have a basic style we are most comfortable with.
Authoritative: (High warmth, High control) Healthy parenting. Based in reason. Teaching the child through modeling and healthy communication.
Lupin, Sprout, Dumbledore, and Flitwick would fit in this category.
Authoritarian: (Low warmth, High control) Demading, rules-y, no explanation, controlling.
Snape. McGonagall takes on some characteristics, but leans towards Authoritative (She has warmth, but doesn’t show it often.)
Permissive Neglectful: (Low warmth, Low control) Basic needs are met, but low control, very detached, no demands, no communication.
Lockhart, Trelawney, Binns
Permissive Indulgent: (High warmth, Low control) Adores the child, but rarely disciplines. There are few rules that are not consistently enforced. Avoids confrontation. Indulgent & Undemanding. More interested in being a friend than an authority figure.
Hagrid and Slughorn.
Children of Authoritative parents tend to be sensitive and caring.
Children of Authoritarian parents are angry and obedient.
Children of Permissive Neglectful parents have little self esteem.
Children of Permissive Indulgent parents have low maturity/responsibility.
In the Harry Potter series, we can look at some of the characters and guess the parenting styles they had grown up with.
Permissive Indulgent, typically isn’t good with disobedient children, but can be good for shy kids. The kids we can see on two extremes of this spectrum are probably Draco and Luna. Luna got the better end of it, Draco not so much. (Draco also gets this bit of a parenting style from Snape.)
Authoritarian: Good for difficult children, but not for shy children. Blindly obey rules and struggle with anger. Neville probably got this from his grandmother, and Harry got it from the Dursleys.
Authoritative: Self-confident and conscientious kids. The Weasley kids definitely got this, and it can be inferred that Hermione did as well. Luna sort of got this type of parenting, where Xeno “does use logic, just not our logic” in bringing up his daughter.
Talking a bit more about some of the characters…
Neville’s development was so very much influenced by Dumbledore, Sprout, and even Hooch. Dumbledore was able to recognize at the end of SS that Neville was brave, and Sprout nurtured his growth and enabled him to be confident in his abilities.
Harry never fully integrated with the Dursleys. He obviously found himself through friends and teachers at Hogwarts, as we were able to witness through the course of 7 books.
Ron had some pretty high-expectations set for him, as the 6th child of Arthur and Molly. He did have some pretty low self-esteem as a result of that.
Hermione was very bossy and rules-y, but we never do get to see her parents in the books, so we’re not sure where that came from.
Draco is essentially a spoiled, disrespectful bully, despite what happens to him later on. He is pretty evil for an 11 year old.
We then went on to talk about the different Defense Against the Dark Arts Teachers:
Quirrell: Permissive neglectful. Was kind of too busy dealing with the Dark Lord on the back of his head, so, you know, priorities.
Lockhart: Permissive neglectful. ”Not really a teacher”, was too busy promoting himself.
Lupin: Authoritative. He taught the children, but respected their limits.
Barty Crouch Jr/Moody: While Moody might have been Authoritative, BCJ was more Authoritarian. With the effects of the Polyjuice potion, those got mixed together.
Umbridge: ABUSIVE. No style involved.
Snape: Authoritarian.
parenting styles
Diana Baumrind identified 3 distinct styles of parenting:
- permissive
- few rules
- minimal demands
- allow children to reach own decisions
- children tend to be immature, impulsive, and often fail to respect others - authoritative
- firm rules
- reasonable demands
- listen to child’s viewpoint, but still insist on responsible behaviour
- children tend to be well-adjusted, goal oriented, and socially competent - authoritarian
- strict rules
- enforce strict punishments
- rarely listen to child’s viewpoint
- children tend to be moody, aggressive, and lacking in good communication skills
Parenting labels.
I’m not sure why a lot of moms want to have a label, “I am a ____ parent”.
I do what comes naturally. I may not “child wear” but I carry and hold my child , but also let him have his freedom to walk around with me. We sometimes bathe together. We sometimes sleep together.
I follow his lead.
And I’ve been told by a professional who we know casually that I’m a “prime example of attachment parenting”. Which was news to me, but he sees how I am with Holden from an educated eye.
Y’all, I think, are too needy to fit into certain niches and cliches.
okay, i have to say this!
i am so tired of reading posts about how circumcision is wrong!!! some people believe in it, some people do not! deal with it!!!!! it is just like parenting styles! people have different parenting styles! and if you want to unfollow me because i made this post GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!! but i personally believe in circumcision! will i explain? no! i don’t have to! do i believe in putting your kid in the corner when they are bad? yes! am i going to explain? no! stop trying to shove your beliefs down peoples throats!!!! it’s annoying! THANK YOU!!!!!!
My Parenting Style
With all the talk on here concerning everyone’s different parenting styles, I started thinking of the kind of style Nathan and I use. I am having trouble really pinpointing which method or which category we fit into because we seem to use different ideas from a bunch of different schools of thought. I absolutely love the values enlisted in the attachment parenting philosophy. It makes so much sense to me as it is very practical (for the most part) and uses principles that are very ‘old age’. We baby wear, breastfeed, never let Addy cry it out, are incredibly responsive to Addy’s needs and co-slept until Addy was almost 6 months old. We would love if she still wanted to sleep with us, but she really enjoys her independence I think and will only cuddle us after her middle of the night feeding. We have never really looked at a method of parenting and said ‘this is what we will do’, we have more so just fallen into this lovely parenting style that works wonderfully for us. It comes very natural which is why I think I find parenting easy. Sure there are days when she drives me crazy, but I am always positive around her and she reacts so well to it. So, when anyone ever asks me where I fit into the millions of parenting philosophies I just say the one that comes natural to parenting my lovely Adalynn. My only rule is that I always do what is in her best interest and I always strive to better ourselves as a family. I love how intelligent and bright she is and I really attribute it to how we have chosen to raise her.
I think it's rude
When parents criticize another parent’s parenting style.
If you as a parent decide to:
Breastfeed
Co-sleep
Clother diaper
Make your own baby food
Not allow your child to watch television
or
Formula feed
Have your baby sleep in their own crib
Disposable diaper
or use store bought baby food
Let your child watch television
or some combination of these lists or further parenting styles…
Then be my guest. Who are you to say something about the way someone else raises their child? Did you give birth to them? Did you carry them in your womb? No then seriously shut up. I can’t stand this “anon hate” about people’s parenting styles.
My personal opinion is as long as your child is well feed, loved, has somewhere to sleep, clothes on their back, is wearing some kind of diaper to collect their business, and is kept clean then that’s what matters. Not the stupid stuff that people knit pick at one another for. Why can’t we just all get along and support one another? Isn’t that what this parenting community is for?
Parenting can be a real challenge
As a parent with two teenagers, I have some experience with parenting and whilst everyone who has had children already is only too willing to give you all the advice with regards to how you should work with your children, their method will not necessarily work for you? Confused? Where to from here?
Parenting Techniques and styles
There are many opinions and theories regarding the amount of time and energy that you should invest in your children. I find this strange in a sense, why should we need someone to tell us you must spend this amount of time or that amount of time with your children? Surely the bottom line must be how connected you are with your children will determine how much time you should spend with them together with other factors that no doubt impact on your life style.
Some of our parenting techniques are going to be influenced by the make-up of the child and the parents’ own disposition. The saying “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” does not necessarily apply.
I would also agree that some of our parenting techniques or styles are handed down to us by our parents and we tend to employ these on our own children. This is certainly one area I believe should be looked at. Our parents did what they thought was best for us at that time. But times have changed and the relevancy of what they did for us is not necessarily the same now as it was then.
Different styles of parenting include the authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved approaches and at times, perhaps each of them come in to play for us, or at the very least we are tempted to adopt one of them which we do not normally do! An example here might be that your children are arguing on and on and just won’t stop no matter what. Normally you might have adopted the authoritative approach of being willing to listen to your children even though you have established guidelines for them to follow, but now its time for a radical change and in steps the authoritarian approach, “you will go to your rooms now!”
Biological Bond
We should accept that our duty or obligation of being a good parent is to look to supporting all aspects of the child and not just the fact that we have a biological bond!
In my case, I have a son and a biological bond. I have a daughter and no biological bond. I adopted my daughter when she was very small. She lost her biological father when she was very young. Yet today, I can honesty say that I see no difference between the two. They are my children and I love them equally. The bond I have with my biological son is naturally strong. The bond I have with my daughter is now equally strong, but both she and I had to work very hard at it. I love her deeply.
Parenting the two has been very different. Together with my wife, we have faced many challenges as I am sure all of you who have a similar set of circumstances will attest to.
Was one easier than the other? Perhaps at times, but the underlying aspect of parenting still remained and that was to support all aspects of the child, be it physical or emotional or intellectual or social. And the role of parenting continues from infancy right through to adulthood.
Both our children are very different. My son is an academic; he reads through his school work and then easily achieves very high marks. He is in high school and doing extremely well. My daughter has left school as is doing a traineeship in Hotel Management. She used to work hard, study for hours and get average marks. At times she wanted to kill her brother because it is so easy for him. I felt my daughter frustration, I was like her, I studied hard and got average marks. Yet we have no biological bond.
The point I am trying to make here is that parenting is definitely a lot more than the biological bond, it’s being involved in all aspects of your child’s life.
Involve your children
Involving your children in the decisions made, instead of making the decisions for them can be a lot easier in the long run. And without the consequential backlash of laying down the law. We have all heard of the rebellious teenager who goes out and does exactly what the parents expressly forbid him or her to do! Although time consuming, if the children are actively involved in the drawing up of consequences for their own “non-performance”, then when the “non-performance” triggers the consequence, the consequence is far more easily swallowed.
You will also build trust in your relationship if you agree on consequences together, rather than imposing your own. Often your own consequences simply make you feel more comfortable and have the opposite effect on your child.
One way of looking at this is by creating a “wheel” of consequences and one of “Rewards”. A novel approach which will help you with the day to day lives of your children as they grow up. An ideal way of doing this is to use the The Better Behavior Wheel. It is a downloadable virtual wheel ready to use concept that you can employ immediately. The children in this case came up with many of the consequences that they felt would be applicable when their sibling did something wrong. Now why didn’t I think of that? The Better Behavior Wheel, hummm, sometimes we can get so caught up in just trying to manage the situation! Have a look, it might just be the answer you need. Click here to find out more about The Better Behavior Wheel.
The Big, Bad "I Said No!"
Having been holed up for much of the weekend, I’ve had lots of time to observe littlest. He is moving into such an inquisitive phase, he’s always been an ‘investigator’, particularly when it comes to touch. He wants to touch or pat everything, but now that he is more mobile (he twists, leans, kneels and shuffles his way to whatever he wants to get at) it’s a whole new world and in the blink of an eye I find him investigating the brick hearth, pulling on the drawers of our 5ft-tall wooden post box (a beautiful set of drawers in a tall cylindrical shape that reminds me of old British pillar boxes) and trying to scale the wooden coffee table. Hell I’ve even found him under the coffee table.
Yesterday, littlest was investigating the Velcro pocket on my laptop bag when he discovered a stash of different cables in there which he fished out and proceeded to put to his mouth. Luckily I spotted him before he did (even though they are not plugged in, learning to chew on cables like a little mouse is not the best lesson he could learn) and took them away saying “no, you mustn’t touch wires”, to which he responded with a fake and rather amusing ‘cry’. I still felt guilty though! It’s going to be a nightmare sticking to my guns as he gets older and more manipulative but at the same time it was fantastic to see him employ this as a way of trying to get what he wants.
All of this reminds me of an article I read not so long ago about Diana Baumrind, a clinical psychologist who conducted a study in which she determined that there are four dimensions to parenting: disciplinary strategies, warmth and nurturance, communication styles and expectations of maturity of control. All of these dimensions combine in different measures to form three distinctive parenting styles (further research in the early 80’s provided a fourth style) and these are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved parenting. This article came to mind again today, after my disciplinary moment with littlest yesterday, and got me thinking about my own parenting style.
A description of all styles can be read here: http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm
It may be that my parenting style adapts and evolves as littlest grows, or perhaps changes altogether, but right now I identify most with the authoritative style of parenting. It seems to fit well with the image of how I see myself raising littlest. It is my intention to always be consistent and fair, set clear expectations and reward and discipline where appropriate. I want to teach littlest to be accountable for his actions and to learn that inappropriate behaviour has consequences and I hope that by always listening and being open and honest with him, and always giving him the chance to explain his actions, he’ll learn that he can be independent providing that he abides by what limitations are placed upon him.
One of the most important things to me, in this and any relationship, is communication. I am a huge fan of talking things out and always seek to understand the thoughts and feelings behind actions because that helps me to process the outcome better and to learn from the situation. Most of all, I want littlest to know and feel love. I want to raise him in an environment in which he feels that love and support every day, to know that I am always there for him, encouraging and supporting him from taking his first wobbly steps to his first exam, and everything in between and beyond for the rest of my life. I want him to feel that even when I am cross with him, it’s because I love him and to understand that no matter what, I will always love him because he is my son and everything I do is for him.
Why i have chosen not to raise my child as exclusively vegan.
Main reason choice, I whole hearted believe that choice is one of the most important rights to life for all beings. The lack of choice imposed on the exploited is a big reason why I am vegan myself so therefore I don’t believe I can make this choice for my daughter.
I want raise her to be confident and strong in her decision making, not be taken along by the crowd and imposing my opinions on her is not going to achieve this, I shall provide her with the facts and let her decide if it is for her, I will not judge or be disappointed in her if she makes the choice not to be vegan.
I want her to have a healthy relationship with food and the world around her so it needs to be her relationship not one built form others vegan propaganda. I also want to respect her mixed heritage and not exclude or ostracise her culture or her family.
I want to give her everything she needs in life to be the person she wants to be and the choice to be the person she wants to be is a good place to start.
exclusively
I know a mother
Who dose not allow her daughter to play with any toys or dress in any gender specific manor, by this i mean she does not let her daughter dress in pink/ purple flowery ect clothing or play with dolls and cute girly things.
I understand and agree with to a degree about not pushing your child into any one gender due to their biological sex but i feel that this child is not being allowed to explore the fact that she IS female she is not given the choice, she is dressed like a boy and given boys toys to play with rather then been given the option to define who she is by her own likes and choices.
It’s another shining example of people jumping on the nonconformist bandwagon without really understanding what it’s all about.
What make me laugh even more is she gets really pissed when people mistake her daughter for a boy .. WELL ……..
