“When I grow up I want to be Henry the 8th so that I can have six husbands and kill them all.”

—as said by one of my students this week

“You know what's weird to think about? Your toes have knuckles. You have toe-knuckles.”

—A completely random comment from a student today

[I'm trying to address final questions my kiddos had for their Junior Papers, which are due tomorrow (FINALLY!) after a month of working on them and only focusing on them in class. I spy one of my students with her phone out in the back row.]
Me: Really? Come ON! What are you doing?
Her: [doesn't even notice I'm looking at her, let alone talking to her. I know what she's doing as I see her fluff her hair and try to "smize."]
Me: My English class is not the time nor the place to be taking selfies. Put the Instagram away right now.
Her: [It clicks that I've caught her.] Oh! Sorry, Miss. [Flashes me a smile in the hopes that I'll forgive her or forget what I just saw.]
Me: [glares]
Her friend: Ohhhhh, Ms. M, you're my favorite. I can't believe you know what a selfie is!