“I have been a dad for 6 years, a mom for 12, and for a time in between I was both, or neither, like some parental version of the schnoodle or the cockapoo. [...] I understand the reluctance many people have to play down the importance of gender, or for that matter, biology, in parenting; a world in which male and female are not fixed poles but points in a spectrum is a world that feels unstable, unreal. And yet to accept the wondrous scope of gender is to affirm the potential of life, in all its messy beauty. Motherhood and fatherhood are not binaries. And that, I’d argue, is a good thing. [...] All of this gives me great hope for the future of the American family, for our open-mindedness and the great potential of our sons and daughters. But just as I begin to become overly optimistic, I remember seeing some television show featuring transsexual women and their children, back in the 1970s. My grandmother was watching it. “Oh for God’s sake,” she said, sucking on her Kent filter king, “those people aren’t women.” “They’re not?” I said. She had no idea that I was a woman like the ones she was dismissing. How could she have known? I was just a boy then. “Of course not,” said Gammie. “They have children,” I pointed out. “And breasts. And — you know. Vaginas.” She shot me a look. Ladies of her generation didn’t say vagina or vote for Democrats. “That’s not what makes someone a mother,” she said. “Really? What does?” Gammie took a long drag on her cigarette. “Suffering,” she said. For mothers and fathers alike, there are times when the line between suffering and joy can be as vague as the line, for transgender people, between masculine and feminine. But surely it is those moments we feel everything at once — maleness, femaleness, melancholy, ecstasy — that make us most human.”—
Absolutely beautiful essay on what makes a mother by Jennifer Finney Boylan, who used to be James Finney Boylan. Pair with the New Yorker’s heart-warming celebration of gender diversity this Mother’s Day.
Boylan’s fantastic recent book, Stuck in the Middle with You: A Memoir of Parenting in Three Genders, is a must-read.
A Classic Example of 'Don't Read the Comments.'
This post was pointed out to me earlier today, and while it was a great entry/interview with Kris Anka about costume design, scrolling further down and reading comments was nothing short of infuriating.
It’s depressing to think that a very vocal minority of the audience think a certain way about characters and costumes. The new Psylocke design has become a point of contention.
The character is a telepathic ninja. Her previous outfit is a fucking bikini, and while it looked cool for a time, it just looked ridiculous if you think of the context behind the character, but yes, complete eye candy.
Anka redesigned her and gave her something akin to a catsuit, which works perfectly for the character. And you know what? It’s STILL sexy. Also? She looks like a complete bad ass.
Sexy isn’t defined by how much skin is exposed. It’s about how the character acts and how a character carries their look.
i wish schools didn’t teach kids that failure isn’t an option
or that it made you a failure as a person
because that is bullshit and failure is normal and if you don’t learn how to deal with it early on then it becomes a major deal when it doesn’t have to be and when you inevitably fail later in life it really hurts
Listen, guys, Ness is the perfect OTP, arguably out of any that I have ever shipped, and let me tell you why.
- They have an emotionally healthy relationship. Do you know how rare that is on TV? They are not angsting and pining over each other. They do not need each other in order to function normally. They do not torture each other. They laugh and tease each other and they don’t know what they are, but they know they want to be together, so they don’t fight it. They go with it. They drive off into the distance without a destination, bickering about going right or left, and laughing along the way.
- They are friends first and foremost. They are giggly and silly with each other. She inspires him to grow up and take himself more seriously; he brings out her fun side. They love each other, but they don’t make a big deal about it, and the loft chemistry remains intact.
- They are flawed. Nick is grumpy, immature and not good with expressing his feelings. Jess is judgmental, kooky, and sometimes hard to handle. But they complement each other. They make each other happy— but they also make each other better. She has her doubts about him (what sane person wouldn’t?) but she believes in him anyway. And he blossoms because of it.
- Jess brings out Nick’s romantic side. He has the credit score of a homeless ghost, and he doesn’t like to do his laundry (ever), and he drinks too much (and knows it). But for Jess— he will wear Schmidt’s clothes. He will make a reservation at a nice restaurant. He will try to keep Schmidt and Winston in line. He will try to prove everybody wrong. He will sweep her off her feet (literally) and take a chance with her. And I don’t think he’s trying to be someone he’s not— I think he’s trying to be the person he is. Because Nick is a good guy, but he doesn’t know it, he doesn’t believe it. And with Jess, he’s beginning to.
- Jess and Nick’s chemistry is off the charts. Of course, this has a lot to do with Jake and Zooey, who work like a dream together— but the characters just have this spark. You believe them together. They are funny and crazy and sweet and real. They could be your own loftmates. They make magic when they are together.
- Their trajectory has been believable. Jess moved in and she was just weird. She was coming off a bad breakup, and watched Dirty Dancing all day. Nick, who is closed-off and crotchety, thought she was insane and tried to keep his distance— but he was intrigued by her. She wasn’t like anyone he’d ever known. (Not because he hasn’t dated weird girls, because we all know he has, but because she is the kind of weird that is perfect for him, even if he didn’t know it at first.) Even from the start, he was the one she was close to— he was the one who convinced her to get her stuff back from Spencer in ep2. And from there, they relaxed into each other and became really good friends. Platonic, but with sparks. And when the sparks got too big to handle, and of course they started to wonder— well, the show was fearless. The show went with it. Liz Meriwether and the crew really need mad props for their boldness, because some shows would have just dragged out the will-they-won’t-they for seasons to come. But nope. Nick and Jess admitted their feelings for each other, and began the bumpy road to figuring out who they are together. No fuss, no pretention. And it actually made the show better. The New Girl writers were very honest about Nick and Jess and their relationship, which was refreshing and fun to watch.
The finale proved all this and more. Nick and Jess have no idea where this is going— but they know they love each other. They came to that conclusion together. Nick came out to tell her he wanted to “un-call” their earlier decision, and before he could even open his mouth, Jess told him that she wanted the same thing. They are on the same page. They get each other.
Nick is not ideal, in many ways. And Jess— well, she’s not an easy girlfriend either. But both are sunny, lovable people who will try for each other, and that makes for satisfying television, and satisfying shipping.
Heto na naman po tayo sa pagkukumpara ng Tumblr noon sa Tumblr ngayon. Guise kelan kaya mag sisink in sa utak ng bawat isa na iba talaga ang noon sa ngayon. Lahat ng bagay nagbabago, at inevitable yon, there’s nothing we can do about it. Wag nyo namang ipamukha sa mga baguhan dito sa Tumblr na sila ang dahilan kung bakit naging ganito ang site na ito ngayon.
I Hate Your Tank
While we’re on the topic of things I hate, let’s talk about designer, betta fish tanks.
Most things labeled as ‘for betta fish’ are lying to you.
See that above photo? Credit of this. It’s 0.5 gallon tank. Look at how bare bones the tank is. In fact, in the information they provide, it says, “Inhibit the Betta’s tendency to jump by decorating with an ornament or plant that extends beyond the water level (not included)”. It’s not really a suggested instruction, just sort of, “Hey, do it if you want, bro. We’re down for anything.”
That tank is not suitable for a betta fish as shown above.
This goes back to ‘fish are not furniture’.
These trendy, fad tanks just promote the idea that fish are something not living, but instead moving pieces of furniture. They’re promoted as trendy furniture rather than as pets. Or, you know, alive.
I see so many of these tanks.
I see these tanks all the time. None of them can be properly heated, as any heater will cook the fish. none of them can hold a proper cycle, and most aren’t cleaned for weeks.
They just ingrain in my brain how much of a showpiece betta fish are. They’re everything I hate and everything that makes me frustrated within the hobby. So, when I see you with one of these tanks, just know I’m sitting over here, silently judging you. I know it’s bad, I know it’s awful, but I can’t help it.
So, I guess, consider this little rant a product review of sorts. What do you guys think about designer tanks?
Tumblr is Tumblr, and a blogging platform is a blogging platform. Let us not redefine the essence of Tumblr. Let us not complicate ourselves. Let us not rebuild Tumblr as a social networking site. Anong gamit ng Facebook at Twitter?
Yes, we create friends here. But with these trending browser extensions, we may lost the reason why we are here. And we are here to blog; to express and convey ourselves and our ideas to the rest of the world.
We are not here to track who unfollowed us, and loathe them for doing such.
These tools may help our blogging activities easier, but we should realize that somehow, these tools make our life here in Tumblr more complex. Let us stick to what David Karp created for us; for he knew this current interface of Tumblr unleashes our kraken to blog more often.
Let us not slay our significance. Let us be prolific bloggers.
- Kaming mga BABAE, magaling magpretend.
- Kapag nasasaktan kami, nagpapakamanhid kami.
- Kapag may nakitang hindi maganda, nagbubulag bulagan kami.
- Kapag may narinig na mali, nagbibingi bingihan kami.
- Pero kapag mag isa nalang kami, dun kami naglalabas ng sakit.
- Dun kami umiiyak.
- Kaya ang pangarap naming lalake ay yung sensitive sa mga nararamdaman namin.
- Yung kayang i-handle kung anong nararamdaman namin.