the smallest mother in England is the minimum

‘Fat Single and Ready For a Pringle’, an autobiography by me

*Drops the soap entirely on purpose*

straight boys are so cute

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my fave tumblr relationship is david oomshi + every gay man in north america 

I was just trying to impress my kids class on career day ok I wanted them to think I was the best fisherman no I didn’t know how master baiter would sound outloud nobody’s ever called me that ok I’ve never actually caught a fish how was I supposed to know please are the cuffs necessary

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